Archive for December, 2006:
A Shiny New Year
As I sat down to try and put some thoughts together to sum up 2006, I decided to look at what I wrote last year on December 31, 2005:
Hope everyone had a fun and safe New Years Eve. I watched Dick Clark while I chatted on the phone and folded laundry. Yes, I know. I really need to stop living in the fast lane. I have children to consider now.
Do ya’ll know how they use plastic-coated wire to secure Barbie dolls to the cardboard inside the box? I hate to say this but I think that’s what they did with Dick Clark. The poor guy had a stroke like 2 years ago, right? He really looked like he had some plastic-coated wire around his middle securing him to his chair. I don’t want to be cruel but maybe it would have been better for him to have been remembered the way he used to be. I really felt bad for him.
And Mariah Carey? What was with that get-up she had on? She looked like an ice skater in that sparkly, spangly outfit. Only Tina Turner can get away with that and not look like an idiot. What happened to Mariah Carey anyway? She used to be somewhat dignified. Is it just me or has her cheese factor increased over the last several years right along with her blonde highlights and bra size?
After this year’s requisite viewing of Dick Clark’s So NOT Rocking New Years Eve, I’m certain that they are still Barbie-wiring Mr. Clark to his chair. There’s just nothing “rocking” about Dick Clark anymore and watching him is depressing. I don’t want to think about getting old or having a stroke or anything that miserable at the dawn of of a new year. And the Jersey Boys? WTF is that shit? People, please. That’s the music of my PARENT’S generation. Let’s just keep the Jersey Boys on Broadway, okay?
I was considering doing a review of my year after reading this fine example but honestly, the best things about 2006 for me were watching my kids grow and blossom and just totally digging them. BlogHer in San Jose was a lot of fun, too, but really, 2006 wasn’t a particularly exciting year. Not a whole lot happened, good OR bad so I decided to forgo the retrospective.
I also considered doing the lists thing but there’s no reason to when all the work has been done already. Thank you, Beth! Instead, I opted for a brief list of A Few of the Things That Got on My Nerves in 2006:
- • Billy Mays and his loud, annoying voice. Basically, it’s like this… Oxy Clean = Good. Billy Mays in Oxy Clean commercials = VERY VERY BAD.
• The term “baby bump.” I hate it so much. It’s not a fucking “bump.” A bump is a term associated with snorting coke. Or that dance craze from the seventies. I wish magazines and tabloid TV shows would quit saying it. I want to throw things at the television when they do.
• The crooked baseball cap ala K-Fed. It looks STUPID. Stop doing it, people. RIGHT NOW!!! That means you, Pink and your huz, too.
Okay, enough about the new year. It will all be over in a few minutes and then we can move on to either sticking with or totally ignoring our resolutions. My resolutions are sort of vague but basically involve getting more sleep and trying to lose this last ten pounds of baby fat that I’ve been complaining about forever.
The good news is that I’d been totally fearful, after a trip to Target’s dressing room with it’s mirrors that let you see your back fat much too clearly, that I’d gained weight over the holidays but the scale says nothing gained…or lost. I’m exactly the same as I’ve been for a while now which blows me away because after going back on birth control I am SO hungry that I feel like I’m pregnant. Such irony…
Does anyone know of something over-the-counter that safely suppresses your appetite? Seriously. Better living through chemistry in ‘07, at least where my back fat is concerned… That’s my new motto.
Happy New Year!
Alone and Loving It
Forgive me, bloggy, for I have lapsed. It’s been four days since my last post.
Oy! Only four days? It feels like a month since I’ve posted. Would you believe it if I told you that for the first time in forever that I am completely ALONE in the house?
Earlier I tried for a good thirty minutes to bang out something resembling a blog post and nobody would leave me alone for more than 20 seconds. That’s when it occurred to me that I haven’t had a moment to myself in ages. The huz has been off from work for two weeks and on numerous occasions during those two weeks I’ve taken the kids places for hours at a stretch so he could have some quiet time. Apparently I can only get some “me” time when I start getting mad about it like I did today.
Anyway, our Christmas was very nice but I’m really glad it’s finished. I’m over all the obligations and commitments and shipping deadlines. Next year I’m starting everything in NOVEMBER!
I am proud, however, to say that I did everything via mail order and we went to the mall only to visit one store for ornaments. It’s a tradition that we go every year (usually to Restoration Hardware or The Christmas Shoppe) and everyone picks out one that they really like. When the kids are grown, they can take all their ornaments with them and put them on their own trees and each one will have a little bit of history behind it.
The kids really raked in the gifts from everyone but I must have lived a past life during the Great Depression or something because it really bothers me to see so much fricken money spent on so many toys. It’s just insane. Nobody needs that much shit. I’m giving serious consideration to putting some of it away, at least for P. He won’t even notice and the stuff will seem brand new to him in a few months.
The biggest hit for my daughter were the Moon Shoes that came from us (I sooo want a pair) and P’s fave thing was this Bounce and Spin Zebra. It’s big but I can’t complain because it makes them so happy and is such a great diversion and after all, isn’t that the definition of a really good toy? One that keeps the kids out of your hair so you can be on your computer for 2 whole minutes without an interruption? Or lightly dozing on the sofa while dreaming of full-body massages?
I have to admit I don’t like the noisy “learning” toys P got because they annoy me and even worse, THEY HAVE NO FRICKEN “OFF” SWITCH!!!! WHY???? And I predict TQ’s new Dora talking dollhouse will go the way of every other dollhouse she’s ever had and become yet another an ugly plastic doorstop. What was I thinking? *kicks self hard*
From the huz I got a tripod for my camera which is great and something I will no doubt use but it’s also something he has been wanting to buy for a while, too, so it’s really more of a present for “us.” I also got another Vera Bradley bag that I basically picked out and put on hold so the huz wouldn’t come home with some weird gift for me. Click here to see the my pretty new bag that’s so damn big I can carry all my stuff PLUS sippy cups, snacks, mail, a newspaper, an umbrella and perhaps even a tiny little dog, were I so inclined.
I gave the huz a big check from my own savings account (as opposed to OUR money from our joint acct which is not very gift-y) so he can start another sleeve of tattoos on his other arm. Whenever I asked him what he wanted for Christmas he named some ridiculous $2500 piece of gear for which I advised him not to hold his breath, and more ink. So…more ink it is.
Now we get to start thinking about New Years resolutions. Does anyone ever actually stick to them? I’d love to know if you ever have. Mine will be to get more rest and more exercise. Heh. I know. I might as well be trying to grow wings or win the lottery…
˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚
Did any of your kids get a Bratz doll that sings profanity-laden songs? Only in Florida, my friends… You can read more about it here.
Recoup Some of Your Losses!
I just wanted to remind everyone about price drop policies this holiday season (and all year long, really). Most stores have them and although their terms may vary, the policy generally works like this –> You buy something and if the price drops within X number of days, you can bring in your receipt and ask for a refund of the difference.
It is my understanding that 30 days is standard for most stores but certain stores may have a lesser number of days, such as Target, whose time limit has been reported to be 14 days. It might be worth a few minutes of your time to research what the time limits are for various stores.
If you did a lot of shopping via Amazon.com this holiday season, keeping up with price reductions on the items you bought could net you a nice little refund!
You can follow Amazon.com’s price reductions a couple different ways. The first being a DIY approach where you track of the prices yourself and submit your claim via the Returns and Refunds Contact Form
The second and much easier way would be to use the Amazon Price Watch tool. You enter the item numbers you bought and it watches and notifies you via email if prices drop and you can use the meail link right in the email to hop over to the *Returns and Refunds Contact Form to submit the info.
I suggest you let the Amazon Price Watch tool do it’s thing for as long as you can prior to your thirty day limit (this might vary for each item if you bought them on different dates so please take note) and get as much price discounting as you can for each item.
This is SO easy that I hope everyone who shopped at Amazon.com will take full advantage of their policy and maximize your savings!
Merry Christmas!
˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚
* Helpful Details: You can find the item numbers of all your purchases under the “Your Account” section on Amazon. If you don’t see the item number in question listed, enter the item number in the “Other” field. Be sure to select “Refund Inquiry” as your subject and put in the comment section that you are seeking a price drop refund.
An Open Letter to Parents Shopping with their Kids
Dear Moms & Dads Out Shopping with Your Kids,
I know that sometimes it seems like a good idea to have your three and four year olds out shopping with you after 10pm at night because… Well, I don’t KNOW why this would seem like a good idea to you but judging by the sheer number of families doing it this holiday season, you clearly feel that it is.
It’s not that I minded the incessant whining and crying and hyperactivity of your little ones everywhere I went in my local Target. Kids will be kids. I have two of my own so I totally get it. What I DID mind was having to listen repeatedly to an assortment of parents yelling at their kids and doling out one empty threat after another to them.
Let’s get real here, people. At 10:30pm, your small children should be no place except in bed. If they are whining, it’s because they’re TIRED. If they’re losing their shit over every little thing, it’s because they’re EXHAUSTED. If they’re running around like you just shot ‘em full of meth, it’s because they’re OVERTIRED. You’ve been parents for what looks to be 3-4 years now. How is it that you don’t know this by now and what in holy hell makes you think that yelling your fool heads off at them is going to change anything?
Honestly, you sound like a bunch of assholes hollering at your kids and threatening to “take all their presents away” if they don’t start “acting right.” If anything was going to work, it would be that particular threat but when you’ve already said it ten times to a kid so tired she looks drunk, the odds are not in your favor.
And before you try to tell me that you had to bring them because you don’t have a sitter, I’d like to point out your significant other, who appears to be perfectly capable of staying home with the kids while you go shopping. You could even alternate a few times so you each have a chance to shop.
The bottom line here is that no matter how frustrated you are or how hard a day you’ve had, you can’t take it out on your kids. It isn’t their fault that you kept them out so late and frankly, you’re really crapping all over the holidays for your children, as well as everyone who has had to listen to you.
Give it up and take your kids home already.
Sincerely,
IzzyMom
Mom’s Lib
Today is a new holiday. I just made it up. It’s called “Junk Food Day” and it’s a rather innovative holiday in that you can make it be ANY day you want. It doesn’t involve gifts or dumb, overpriced cards (unless you want it to) and you can even have it more than once a year if you are so inclined.
The deal is that you can feed your kids junk ALL DAY LONG, assuming you don’t already do that, and not feel even remotely guilty about it. I know! It’s totally brilliant! Of course the kids love it and I have rationalized that one day of crap isn’t going to kill them. I just have to be sure to brush the hell out of their teeth tonight.
Today’s menu has included cereal bars, lots of chocolate cookies, fudge bars, Froot Loops and chicken quesadillas from Taco Hell. Mmmmm…
Now before you send me e-hatemail telling me what a bad parent I am, remember that I’m used to only having one at home all the time. With Christmas vacation here, I’m now bombarded with requests for things ALL DAY LONG from TWO of them. And to make life even harder, one is sick and won’t eat anything except the tastiest of foods, which is, simply put…JUNK. Why fight it? It’s bad enough I’m a butt and nose wiping machine today…
I really do need to get to the store for some more nutritious foods but until then, I say bring on the junk, beyotches! Liberation is mine!
Did I mention it’s guilt-free?
˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚
If you’re feeling like you need just one more bite of IzzyMom, you can always go read my guest post over at MamaPop!
