Do they have 12 step programs for people that love Halloween too much?
I may need one…
The cards we sent…
At the pumpkin patch!
Also at the pumpkin patch!
Our pumpkin!
Our haunted house (made from a kit)
The candy corn costume made by yours truly!
Unfrosted ghost cakes for TQ’s class!
One of many new decorations purchased
months before Halloween!
˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚
Don’t assume the telephone calls are coming from another house.
When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it’s really dead.
Don’t go into the basement to check the power when the lights go out.
If your children speak to you in Latin, Sanskrit, or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. Although this seems harsh, it will save you a lot of grief in the long run. Note that it will take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else’s voice.
As a general rule, don’t solve puzzles that open a portal to Hell.
If you wake up from a particularly horrific dream and find yourself still alive, you probably aren’t awake yet.
Always believe the kid. Even if the kid has lied before, even if you think that the kid has been watching too much TV — believe the kid.
If you’re searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it’s just the cat, don’t stand there sighing with relief – GET OUT!
If appliances start operating by themselves, don’t check for short circuits; JUST GET OUT!
The weirdo is always the one who saw this coming.
Do not take anything from the dead.
Don’t fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you’re really sure you know what you’re doing.
If trees, TVs, or other objects try to consume your children, save as many as you can and then get out of the area.
Never, ever, make fun of the “odd” kid.
Don’t go camping.
If at any time the house or place you’re staying in asks you to get out – DON’T argue.
If you’re running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice; more if you are of the female persuasion and/or wearing high heels.
If you turn and look back, and you don’t see the maniac/spirit/demon/creature chasing you, stop and run immediately back the way you came because the maniac/spirit/demon/ creature is now in front of you.
Listen to the dying person. They have the best ideas.
If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, etc., kill them immediately.
If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, and you think it strange because you were sure you had a full tank, shoot yourself. You are going to die anyway, and will most likely be eaten.
Never speak to clowns in sewers.
Castles are not normally found in the American Midwest. Be wary.
Beware of strangers bearing strange tools; for example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, laser pistols, Alludium Q-36 explosive space modulators, or any devices made from deceased companions. Also, be wary of anyone driving a combine.
Happy Halloween!
You have to cruise over to Holly Rhea and see her traumas with the very same costume! http://www.hollyrhea.com
lol….that was funny! Fortunately, TQ’s hat looks more like a chef hat than a Klan hood! (I freestyled the whole dang thing!)
Those adorable children – the curls, the grins, the unbearable cuteness! Love it!
Happy Halloween!!
OMG – I love it. I miss those days! I am so being Candy Corn next Halloween!!!! You are awesome.
you are so fucking cute i could just eat you up. i heart you
Great pictures that capture the day wonderfully. I love the candy corn costume!
awww the cards and pictures are amazing! No need for help it is great your family gets into it!
hehe love the words of wisdom!
That candy corn costume is awesome! I love it! Hell, I’d actually wear it. Pure genius. Those are some cute kiddos you have.
Teh cuteness! YOu’re killing me with teh cuteness! And–you MADE that costume? Holy crap, lady, I’m impressed.
I love your Halloween list. This is great!! My favorites are: “Castles are not normally found in the American Midwest. Be wary.” and “As a general rule, don’t solve puzzles that open a portal to Hell.” LOL!
And how cute are your kiddos? Our boys seem to have the same curly hair!
I freaking LOVE LOVE LOVE that candy corn costume and can’t wait till my daughter gets home from begging for candy (Oh, I mean trick or treating) to show it to her. She’s a huge fan of the candy corn and eats it all year round. Which I find extremely disturbing.
I thought I loved Halloween. You win.
Your kids are adorable! Your daughter is getting so tall. I love how crafty you are, I have no craft skills whatsoever. Happy Halloween! Oh, and another important tip-just don’t answer the phone, at all. Especially if the caller ID says the call is coming from your house.
Okay – so that is the coolest costume, those photos are so cute and “Never speak to clowns in sewers” – best advice ever.
Great great photos! So adorable! And, the advice is just spot on!
Thank you for sharing your Halloween public service announcement.
Now I just need to get a gun in case I have kill anyone in my family or run out of gas ;-)
The pictures of the kids are just gorgeous–you really don’t need Sears ever!
I so wish I had more time to do cool stuff like that. I totally put off the pumpkin carving until 2 days ago….how lazy am I? The plus side to that – the pumpkins weren’t rotting by the time Halloween was actually here.
Totally cute pictures!
Very cute costume!
And I loved the cards – what a cool idea.
I’m one of those moms who don’t like Halloween b/c I’m scared of all the ghouls and ghosts hanging around pple’s house, not to mention the horror flicks etc…yuck!!
You’re so crafty and talented Izzy!
Excellent costume! She sews, she bakes, she decorates, she produces adorable children…watch out Martha!
So, I can’t talk to the clown in the sewer? I was thinking about asking him to babysit on Friday.
You’re a closet craftser!!!! Haha, who knew?
OMGoodness, so cute! I am jealous of your crafting skilz – we borrowed costumes from my SIL this year, except for Sunny’s hand-me-down tiger from her brother that I got from land’s end on closeout and she has worn for 2 years now. You should hire yourself out.
And those tips? Those are the things I used to yell at those movies back before I had kids and could still watch them. Happy Halloween!
You’re so crafty! I mean it in a good way.
I can’t believe you did a hand-made costume. I bow down.
I looove the cute little candy corn costume. I had fun trying to connect your Halloween advice with the movies that inspired each one. :)
What cute children. Gush, gush. And I would only change one piece of advice to don’t ever talk to clowns, ever.
In FACT – Just don’t talk to Clowns PERIOD!!
*checks above me* See Wendy has it right!
Good list!
That costume was amazing! You are very talented!
That list was funny and oh so true.
Wow, you are really crafty! I love Halloween, too, but not enough to make all of that! Great pics, too!
Nay nay! I’m the worst crafter on the planet! Seriously, it took me so many trials and errors before I got that costume right,
I love your enthusiasm – I love halloween too bu tnever seem to get it together in time to do any of that stuff. And wow, your son looks so much like you there.
I couldn’t find a candy corn costume anywhere so I traced one of TQ’s dresses and sewed it with a machine and the cakes were a box mix and the kids frosted them. Please woman! I am ALL about the easy way!
My cousin Alexia, who generally has the most vigillant parents alive, watched a scary movie on accident when she was five. After her father expained in detail how it was a movie and not real and nothing to be afraid of, he said, “Do you understand?” She nodded, face still white, and whispered: “Never, *never* hit a clown.”
You seem to have enjoyed yourself Izzy. Cute kids.
Your kids are so beautiful! Wow. And that costume is priceless, even though I hate candy corn, I don’t have anything against adorable children DRESSED as candy corn. And you get the mom prize of the century for MAKING a costume.
I’ll beware of companions that demonstrate “increased hairiness.” hahaha.
lol! Very clever!
:)
I love it! Happy Halloween.
Oh. And great tip. Never speak to clowns in sewers. I always forget that. And you\’re totally right. Great reminder. Thanks!
Cute kids, cute crafts, great pictures…it’s like I’m looking at Martha Stewart or Real Simple magazine here….!
Came by yesterday, but my comment kept getting eaten! Guess the Halloween goblin is lurking around your blog…. :)
I loved the pics! I saw those ghost cupcakes over at Chrstina’s site a few days ago. I love them! And you are so talented…you sewed a costume for your daughter? How cute is that! I can’t even sew a button on… really,it’s pathetic.
Loved the list, too. I always feel those things whenever I watch a horror flick….stay away from people with combines…*LOL*
…but … but … but speaking to clowns in sewers is my favorite past-time!
You and the wife.imp really need to get together on the holidays and do some of this for a business!
Color me totally impressed!
Dude – this is hilarious. I would also say never have sex after at least one person has been mysterious killed in the near vicinity.
Really cute pictures-love the costume!
Halloween is pure fun. Love the costumes. Great pics.
Your kids are adorable.
And I have to confess to being another one that loves Halloween. Fall in Texas comes late, so Halloween is when the leaves turn and the weather starts to cool. It is a welcome relief to the Texas heat.
There is nothing wrong with loving Halloween, I only wish we celebrated here in Australia. Embrace the day and enjoy all it has to offer
.-= m james’s last blog post…Halloween Witch Costume =-.