Have Kids, Will Party?
Urrrrgghhhh! I learned the hard way over the weekend that I am not a “party with the kids” kind of mom. I mean I never thought I was or anything but I used to always wonder how some of my friends with children always managed to go to a party or get-together when they had young kid(s) and no babysitter.
Easy! They just take the kids with them.
My question is HOW?
How the holy hell do you do that AND have fun?
No really…I want to know because I tried, against my better judgment, and it was just short of disastrous. Toddlers in homes that have no little ones must be corralled and scooped up and chased around and removed from areas and it doesn’t stop the entire time.
After an hour I was exhausted and I knew that my first instincts were correct. I didn’t want to go to this thing because I knew P would be hard to manage but it was a guilt/obligation thing and thus, I didn’t listen to my gut.
Well, after drinking a Natural Light beer that tasted like ass and eating several greasy little pig-in-a-blanket thingies, my gut was speaking to me loud and clear. It was saying “Find a bathroom NOW!!!”
I recently started back on birth control and I’ve been feeling queasy a lot lately. I think the bad beer and greasy food pushed my pseudo-pregnant tummy over the edge. Ughhh.
My 6 yr old daughter probably had the most fun out of all of us because she got to hang out with my friend’s 8 year old. I had to be a big old buzzkill, though, and tell them that my daughter wasn’t allowed to watch a horror movie on cable. A horror movie? The hell? They’re little kids!
Add in some drunk people that are my age acting like 20 yr old frat boys and the lowbrow portion of my evening from hell was complete. Thank God P started to get tired and grumpy around 8:30pm so we had a valid excuse to bail.
The following day we got invited to what I imagine will be a very fun costume party next Saturday night. The hostess said everyone is bringing their kids but seriously, what does one do with a 16 month old at a party that doesn’t start until 7pm when his bedtime is normally 8pm? I just don’t get it.
I called today to give our regrets so we’ll be home next Saturday night and though I bitch plenty about how boring we are these days, I’m honestly relieved.
˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚
Check out this cute picture of P wearing his new Beastie Boys shirt sent especially for him from my friend, Mel.
Thanks Mel, it fits perfectly!
I hear ya! This is why my husband and I are constantly entertaining at our house. It is childproof! I cannot enjoy myself while I am trying to keep my one year old from breaking the nineteen glass candle dodads on the knee high coffee table. UGH! Not to mention, when it is time for bed, she goes to bed - her bed. Then we are free to act like drunken 20 year olds!
P.S. The pic is just way too cute! Those eyes!
With our friends parties with kids usually start in the afternoon. And I think the fun you have depends on your children. I have “only” one, he is almost four, and he is a party animal. He can go for as long as 11.30 without gettinig cranky and he always finds a nice woman who then cares for him the rest of the evening and keeps him entertained while I party. Every 30 minutes or so my husband and I go looking for him, ask if he’s alright (and whether he has to pee).
This said I can tell you that I don’t enjoy parties any longer. I had my problems with people acting like 20 year-olds even when I was 20 myself, and find that these days I rather like to have real conversations. I despise party small talk…
Thank you, thank you for writing this. I feel the exact frickin’ way and honestly, I hate the parents who make it look so easy. Where exactly do those people come from? I love my daughter, but there is no way in hell that I am ever taking her to another party/wedding/affair that is truly for adults. It is horriffic.
Ugh. We had a similar night on the weekend. Let at 9:30 and my kids had been wild in a kid-free home for 2.5 hours - the longest 2.5 hours of my life. I feel your pain.
LOVE that t-shirt! threadless.com is having a $10 sale until sometime this morning - I ordered 2 shirts last night….so freaking cute!
I’d say you need to try a different pill. I spent months of my life that I’ll never get back feeling faintly queasy and emotionally turbulent because I was on the wrong pill, and I didn’t do anything about it until my next regularly scheduled doctor’s appointment because - I don’t even know why, because I’m dumb. And then I switched to a different pill and felt better immediately. I’ve been kicking myself ever since.
We don’t have much of a social life with or without kids either. I took my 6 y/o to a wedding this past weekend and he was conked out on my lap at 10 at the wedding. Poor kid told me that he’ll never go to another wedding with me again, he’d prefer staying hom with daddy and his siblings.
BTW, Q is adorable in that shirt!! Soo hip! Love the Beastie Boys.
You want to know how others do it? It’s simple. They don’t watch their kids or have any care or regard for another person’s home. I’m not the type that can do that either. I’d rather be boring at home too.
I am your soul sister on this topic. Hell yeah. Parties? No. “Kid Friendly” parties and un-kid friendly times? No. Like, what’s with the toddler birthday parties at 1:00 in the afternoon? Nap much? Uh, we won’t be there. Thanks anyway.
P.S. Mmmmm, that shirt does go well with the chicken…
ITA. It is not worth going unless my husband is fully committed to toddler-chasing duty. And even then, when we get home it’s an extra hour added to the bedtime while the kids from down from the huge high they are on from all the excitement.
The hubs and I have a hard and fast rule about such parties: If we can’t find a sitter, we can’t attend.
We do occasionally have friends over who bring their youngsters. And then the spare crib or play pen is set up so that a suitable bed time can be enjoyed by the youngster.
Who has a party that kids are invited to that starts at 7pm? My daughter would already be turning into a temper-tantrum pumpkin at that point.
Of course, this is why I have no social life. Most of our friends in town are kidless, and so we can never go anywhere because we rarely can find a babysitter.
I don’t do it unless it’s a family thing, because you’re right, it’s just not fun so what’s the point? then I’ve set myself up to be bitter. And even so, I always insist on leaving at least at her bedtime, even if we can’t get out sooner. Then at least she’s only an hour late to bed max, which is liveable if not great.
And oh, the picture is cuuuute!
absolutely agree. unless there are other kids it means chasing, constant nagging and holding a frustrated toddler. yippeee!
Lisa
You only go to parties of your REAL close friends only……you get there, let the kids hang for a bit, then put them to sleep in an upstairs bedroom and continue (most likely sleeping over). That’s how I do it, anyway. Other than that, and forget it. But lately I only have close friends anyway.
Oy, I am so with you on this one! We don’t do parties anymore, except at my friends houses who have 3+ kids, too, so everything is planned well and the kids just all crash together when ready. Works out great.
Okay, my husband and I are masochists, but we often took our kids to parties when they were small, mainly because we felt it was a way to get them used to crowds and to being around strangers.
It seems to have worked, since now at 8 and 10 they’re probably more social than us now. We recently took them to a party, and while my 8 year old kept busy in the kitchen helping the hostess prepare food, my 10 year old sat in the living room with the hosts’ college-age kids and their friends and talked about music.
Okay - it gets worse - at around 11 we left the party to stop by a friends’ birthday bash as we promised, just to say hi. We were intending to pop in and leave after ten minutes, but my two daughters walked right in, comandeered the karaoke machine and proceeded to sing until 2 am while my husband and I were practically falling asleep in the corner.
So, take heart - fun times are on the way.
Parties? That’s a foreign word to me.
P is so cute in his Beastie Boys shirt!
Both the shirt and P are adorable. Who doesn’t love the beastie boys!
Damn, your kid is cute. The t-shirts pretty swell looking too.
I’m with you when it comes to parties. Especially the late night ones. If the get together starts later than 5pm I decline since it will be me suffering along with the cranky overtired toddler.
Oh yeah. Parties with kids suck. Unless there’s a childproof basement and some older kids to watch the little ones–and when does that ever happen?
Thank you for the pic for the site, Izzy. He looks adorable…but like I said, very emo.
As for the parties, we have no social life. Parties are no fun with kids. Actually, lately, more of our friends are catching up and having kids, so the party thing has disappeared altogether. Man, I’m old.
Mel
Taking your kids to parties at childless people’s homes is a major headache. We did go to a party for adults and kids alike this past weekend and we all had a blast.
I feel this way exactly and it is so nice to hear someone besides me say it. I have some of those “take your kids to the party with you” friends and they always make me feel a little guilty…..they also always make little comments about how antisocial I have become since my daughter was born three years ago. My daughter happily goes to be at 8pm, and I happily let her.
Wait a couple of years and it will probably not be such hell to go to parties. I remember the agony well. Usually, though, I gave complete chasing responsibilities to my husband and he dutifully agreed since he is the one who gets to hang out with grown-ups all day.
Now, it’s much easier, but my husband can be the problem since his way of ‘entertaining’ the kids is to chase them around and make them scream. Our last family function almost caused my sister-in-law (who doesn’t have kids) to have an anxiety attack–for real. My brother politely informed me that I must have developed that ‘mommy filter’ that allows me to ignore blood curdling screams. I guess I have.
About the horror flick: Back in the day when there was no cable, no Nick, Noggin, all day kids programming on PBS, etc. there was Creature Feature and I watched horror films. My mom was oblivious (as I assume many other moms were at the time).
When I was 8, I watched this creepy movie about some people who found a living man’s head by using a divining rod. They kept his head in a hatbox in the closet. Of course, the head was evil and told people to do bad things until the end when they reunited him with his body, broke the curse that made his head stay alive, and killed him. I was scared of that man’s head for weeks. I couldn’t sleep. I was afraid it would float up from under my bed and get me.
This is a true testament to the fact that logic eludes an 8 year old. After all, exactly what could a disembodied head do? So, in a rather large nutshell I totally agree. Kids don’t need to see horror films.
With my first three kids I could never see how anyone could continue to go to parties with kids. Now that I have my fourth, I could imagine that if he were my only one I could totally go wherever I want. He never sleeps, stays right by my side and would totally be easy to take to a party. I have 3 older kids who need to be in bed asleep by 8 or else we pay the next day, plus I am exhausted by 9 at night, so we don’t go anywhere very often if we don’t have a sitter, but if I only had my fourth, I could totally see just bringing him with and actually having a good time.
That is one of the cutest damn pictures I’ve ever seen…*melts*
Awwww…man, Beastie Boys? Somebody has good taste!
The problem I always had with parties like that was that I was the one that never got to relax because I was policing ALL the kiddos. I agree staying home is sometimes better.
You beastie boy is soooo cutsie!
Your little one is SO adoreable! Awwww. and yes, we don’t take our son to parties. We get a sitter. He’d have more fun with the sitter anyway…
Ah, that is one part I DO NOT miss. Dont worry, they grow up. I recently went to a birthday party that my daughter (13) was invited to…it was so nice to be able to actually sit and talk with my friends. If you were anywhere near…I have a 13 year old who is an awsome babysitter (she has mastered watching her now 6 year old brother)
I’ve SEEN that movie!
On Creature Feature!
It’s called “The Thing That Wouldn’t Die”
I was really into the whole divining rod aspect of it.
Hear ya, I sure do. It is frustrating and impossible.
Girl, you and I are leading the same life except in different states and with different partners. And kids. Whatever, you know what I mean.
This whole “kids are invited” thing when it’s clearly an adult party is ridiculous and just highlights how those without kids just don’t understand the kind of work involved with watching youngsters, especially when you have more than one youngster.
You made the right choice about next Saturday. Definitely!
P.S. Cute shit!!! (Cute kid, too :)
I’m with you… How does one have fun when one is wresting glass figurines from the grimey hands of determined toddlers. It’s only the lobotomized mellow children or the ones loaded with genetics that mine lack that can apparently be taken out for public consumption.
Wow, I totally hear you on this. I just cannot seem to relax and have a good time at a party when I’m chasing around an active toddler and/or trying to entertain Mimi. Even at some family parties, we tend to have the youngest kids — and while some parents will send their kids to the basement (unsupervised) I just don’t feel like my girls are old enough yet to send to the depths of the house without some responsible supervision.
Since we don’t have a steady babysitter right now, we tend to either pass on the parties or only accept the events in which it’s just us and a like-minded family with small children. I’m hoping that by the time the kids are teens we might get our social life back. ;-)