Turning Points
I have these….thoughts….buzzing around in my brain. They’re begging me to make sense of them and put them up on my blog. They are those kind of thoughts that probably don’t mean much to anyone else but I am compelled to share them nonetheless. And that, gentle readers, is probably one of the best things about blogging. You think it, you type it, and SHABLAMMMMMMM! It’s out there. YOU are a publisher. It’s much more powerful than I realize sometimes.
But let me just drop the whole facade of a smoove segue and get right to the point (frequently difficult for me)…
The blogosphere is on it’s fricken ear lately. Or is that just me projecting onto everyone else? Many of us seem to be at turning points in our blogging endeavors. Some have quit. Some entertain quitting. Some are taking a break. Some are depressed. Some are feeling pressured. Others are feeling creatively-challenged. Some are re-evaluating why they blog at all.
I hate to get all meta on ya’ll because I know a few of you detest discussing blogging in the blog format but I don’t have any other outlet so here’s your chance to bail. Run while you can. The rest of you please make yourselves comfy, have a powdered sugar donut if you like *passes bag of Sweet Sixteens around*
So…is this the blogging equivalent of a seven year itch?
It seems like many of us that are nearing or have recently reached our one year anniversaries are doing a lot of blogger soul-searching these days. I know…this doesn’t apply to everyone. No need to comment on that. But it seems like so many people that I read and many that I care about are unhappy.
What gives?
Is it that after blogging for so long, we feel less inclined to hide the more unpleasant aspects of our lives? Has blogging just helped shine a light on the darker parts of our lives and our selves?
Are people just burning out and it’s manifesting itself in our blogging via lack of interest, creativity, joy, enthusiasm, inspiration etc?
Is it just a natural part of the evolution of the medium that after a certain point some will tire of it for whatever reason and drop off? I’ve only been here for 11 months so I have nothing to compare it to. Anyone who’s been around for a few years have any thoughts or observations on that?
Or is it a natural response to a Pavlovian device that trains us to love feedback and interaction and we simply exhaust ourselves trying to maintain that blogger’s high that we all got the first time we had more than two comments by working feverishly to top our personal best every day?
Is it that regular everyday blogging does not and can not live up to the awesome times many of us had at BlogHer, resulting in a sort of collective letdown? Because I do recall a lot of malaise or dysthymia amongst attendees several weeks after the hubbub died down.
I have personally tried not to give in to those blogging blues, to not voice my feelings on the topic as much as I’d like to sometimes. In some ways, I’ve actually focussed on other things, specifically avoiding discussion of the medium itself, like my avoidance of the news (which is working out very well for me in case you’re interested) but the fact is, I’m feeling some of the ick, too.
For a while now I have been quietly evaluating my place in the blogosphere and wondering if I’m still doing it for the right reasons or just doing it because I’ve done it for almost a year and it’s become an old shoe metaphor.
What is the old shoe metaphor? Well…imagine that you have a pair of shoes that are so tired and worn out but you love them anyway. They are comfy and they’re always there for you so you keep them; resisting having to go try on and consider new shoes. The old shoes work and you know they don’t cause blisters so you just keep wearing them. They are safe.
I love blogging. I love the ability to write how I feel and put it out there and get feedback (usually positive, occasionally trollish). I like sharing my ups and downs with all of you and hearing your thoughts on things. In a weird way, I feel very connected to you, though most of you are total strangers. Blogging has a way of making the world seem a little smaller and a little less impersonal and I like that.
I truly do love blogging.
But things have changed a little. At first, I thought it would be great to have a place where I could talk about my life without feeling self-centered and say how I really feel about things and basically be as blunt and honest as I wanted. My huz thought a blog would be well-suited to my need to rant and opine and express myself.
So I did it and it was fun. Exhilarating, even, when I would get a few comments and realize someone was reading my words and felt compelled to respond to them. I suddenly understood why actors and musicians crave an audience. And I blogged. And blogged. And read blogs. And commented on blogs. And blogged some more. And made friends. And met friends. And continued to blog.
But somewhere along the way, I’ve begun to feel less true to myself. And I’m not sure why because everything I write is exactly how I feel. I never fudge my feelings. But maybe I’m holding back a little? In the interest of pleasing or not displeasing those who continue to come here and share the love.
Why? My best guess is because I LOVE the love and I don’t want it to go away. And honestly…who could blame me?
But trying to figure out new and interesting ways to spin my not-so-interesting life and opinions about things, in addition to reading and commenting on 100+ blogs, is exhausting. I mean there’s only so much one can say about poop (with all due respect to those who do it so well) and my beautiful and occasionally challenging children and the ups and downs of marriage and life being a SAHM and ___ ___ ___ ___(fill in the blanks) without feeling like a slightly broken record after a while.
But life IS mostly mundane and repetitive and we do run over the same old ground every day but somehow covering that same ground yet again seems hackneyed (for me anyway). And when I break away from all that, I usually end up on some rant about my well-documented hatred for a culture that is not conducive to raising children so much as sexy little adults and daughters with terrible self-esteem
So there I am, wondering how I can possibly cover any of my activistic ranty topics yet again and at the same time wondering how I can NOT? Because that’s what’s important to me right now. As my daughter grows and ventures out into the world where I have less influence on her and less ability to protect and guide her, I see more and more the need to do just that; to rail against things that make my job impossible. And while a few of you disagree with my way of parenting, I feel strongly about these things and I ought to be able to write about them without wondering if I’m flogging another dead horse or boring you and being a downer.
And yet I do wonder. And I hate it. And I frown upon myself for caring.
But I love the love.
And because of that conflict, I feel a bit stuck. I feel like I’m hanging on to those damned old shoes, resisting the change that is inherent to all aspects of life…even blogging.
And I don’t know how to get unstuck. To feel uncompromised and unconflicted. To feel like I used to feel.
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I think it’s almost impossible not to notice the suckitude of the blogging world right now. I blame it on a few things, the lack of daylight and the change to winter tends to get most of the people in the east and midwest down in the dump. School started, but the routine is still setting in and that’s always difficult. The whole Club Mom “I”m better because I get paid” blogging led a lot of people to sort of want to give up, especially after reading some of those Club Mom blogs and wondering just how those people got the jobs they did. That lead to competition and jealously. It also led to a sort of superior attitude towards some people while assiduously avoiding a lot of other really great bloggers. ANd lastly, BlogHer itself gets a bit of blame. The same Top 50 bloggers keep getting all the jobs, and the rest of the bloggers feel like there is no way to make an in because they’re constantly ignored.
This is the same thing that happened with the former cadre of Blogging Baby bloggers. They only promoted each other and their friends, which led people to throw up their hands in disgust. I mean, how many places can you read the same bloggers over and over. Some people blog at 5 or 6 different blogs, and it isn’t because they’re better than other bloggers, it’s because they’re popular and keep getting promoted while others are ignored.
As for the whole “I’ve run out of things to blog” thang, I don’t think that’s true at all. You consistantly have interesting and provocative topics. And if you tend to repeat something you feel strongly about, well, that’s FINE. Why wouldn’t you? That’s the best part of blogging, trying to keep people informed about how a topic interests you and is relevant to your readers.
I’ve been blogging since 2003, with a break in the middle. I’ve been back for about 18 months now, and I have occasionally had nothing to say, but there is just so much fodder out there and so much we’re all passionate about. Why not try to narrow down your interests and focus on a few main topics? That would give you a more indepth viewpoint of your passions.
Blogging can drag you down. There are days when I look at the computer and everyrthing that is going on in my life are things I can’t blog about. I want to share but I can’t because there are parts of my life that I never talk about ever. They’re private. And it seems like I’m being dishonest if I say “I’m depressed” but can’t tell why. It makes me feel badly that I’m shortchanging people, but I need the privacy. I’d be compromised if I told all.
I think we all love the love, the comments, the comradery of blogging. But the deal is, you just have to be sort of egoless and realize that not everyone is gonna get dooce stats or hundreds of comments on every single post. We blog because we like to write and share our lives, and if only 250 people a day care, than that’s HUGE. Think about your IRL interactions. Have you ever had 250 people wrapped around your little finger following every word? I sure haven’t. I think it’s amazingly cool that people READ my blog. Even if I’m not popular or cool or hip or anything else. That I’ve made blogging friends and I participate beyond my own little sphere is telling for a social misfit. Yes, I self censor, but even with that, I feel like my blogging friends are very cool people and like Sally Fields says, “They Like me!” And I like you!
If I have only learned one thing in my adult life, Izzy, it’s that THINGS CHANGE. Sometimes that’s good, sometimes it’s not. Either way, both ways, it’s going to happen. And, since it’s inevidable and really quite preferably mostly, my advice (although you didn’t ask for it) is to go with the flow. And when you don’t like the flow, swim upstream or dry off for a while. This is your blog. Your blog. Yours. I’m not suggesting that you stop blogging because of any one or a dozen reasons, but this vehicle is yours to do with as you wish. Do with it what makes you feel good. The blog might change, you might change, your readers might change. But like I said. THINGS CHANGE. And that’s ok. I so get it.
I’m relatively new to the blogger arena. I’d been reading other blogs for about 4 months before I decided to start my own. I didn’t even know what a blog was and came by them accidentally. But, once I started reading I was hooked.
I have a few that I read because they make me laugh. I have many more I read because I see myself in them. And knowing that there are folks out there that think and feel the way and have gone through the same experiences that I have, lets me know I’m not crazy after all. And, there are those blogs that I vehemently disagree with but read anyway because I’m always open to the possibility that I’m wrong and need to educate myself.
I started my blog for me. It’s anonymous and will always remain that way. I don’t want to make a living from it. I don’t want to entertain or educate. I just needed a place to escape to when my brain couldn’t handle the pressure anymore.
In the beginning, when I first started to blog, I watched my stats. I admit that I got sucked into wanting to sit at the popular table. But, I don’t do that anymore. It began to affect what I was writing. I began writing and wanting to write so that others would put me on their blog roll. So that they would comment.
It didn’t even matter what was said, just the fact that they commented at all turned my head. I didn’t care about the content of the comment.
All that has changed now. If/When I do get a comment, I’m hoping that it’s because that person sees themselves in ME, and realizes that THEY’RE not so crazy after all! And that they’re not commenting just so that I’ll go to their blog and comment. I won’t fall into that trap. I did. And it started to detract from my intention of reading and having my own blog.
My bottom line is this … I am writing for myself. I don’t care about stats. I don’t care about being recognized for anything here in the blog world. I don’t want any awards. I just need to be myself. And if I begin to stray from that goal, it’s over.
Izzy … I started reading your blog because I know that when I read what you say, it’s you. It’s not about “saying what they want to hear.” It’s about what’s going on inside your head. It’s honest. To yourself.
You know that I’m agreeing with you.
Spread that love, my friend.
Great post!
I just started this blog thig about 5 months ago and I find that somethings I spew freely and other things I’d never share…I don’t know where I draw the line but it pisses certain family members (hubs) off. I just do what I feel and I know that I can’t please everyone…
I write for myself. Period. It makes me feel happy, relieved, sad, theraputic….all in one post. I love to do it and I would have never found so many other people who truly think the way I do…it’s refreshing and I thank blogging for that.
You’re blog is a place I can come to for reassurance that I am not alone! I am grateful for finding you and I hope you continue to love blogging until we are old and gray!!!
I’ve been blogging since the days when blogger was the only option, back in 2000. I kept an online journal coded by hand since 1998 (!). My site has evolved and now I have a wordpress blog that works for both my short entries and my more journal-esque entries. Regardless, I’ve been doing this forever in internet years.
And it really is a cycle. Sometimes I love blogging and can’t imagine not having this outlet. Other times I just want to run away screaming and never do it again. I even have the “suicide” plugin installed and all it would take is a couple of clicks and my entire blog and database would go poof. Sometimes I sit and hover my mouse over that suicide button and wonder why I still do this at all.
But then it always cycles around again.
All that to say that I don’t have any answers for you except that almost everyone I have ever read has struggled with the “holy shit I’m so boring and all I ever write about is the same mundane daily stuff with a bit of ranting in between”. I often feel the same way, wondering why X amount of people visit daily when I feel so damn boring. And yet, I love reading the day-to-day stuff because it’s like my uncontrollable habit of peeping in people’s windows if they leave the blinds open, I love knowing how other people live their lives. And I love reading rants because I like knowing what people care about enough to get worked up about it.
So the point I guess I’m trying to make is that despite the fact that a lot of us feel boring, other people care.
This incredibly useless and unhelpful comment was brought to you by the letter Q.
(Also, I think I may write about this later on my blog because I do think about it a lot.)
I sometimes wonder about this, too. I’ve only been blogging 6 months and I love it, but sometimes I feel like I have nothing to write about. Other times I have something to say but I’m worried about offending my family. It’s a catch 22.
Writing has always been my passion and I do hope to continue to blog. I hope that everyone in the blogosphere finds their true happiness in what they write, but if I not, I can understand why they’d consider the idea of breaking or quitting.
I guess I haven’t had the existential angst that seems to be plauging so many of my favourite bloggers. I think I’m too tired for angst.
In the end, you have to do what’s best for you, even if it does upset your readers. I hope that if I get sick of it, I’ll take a break or even walk away, if that’s what I need to do. Right now, I’m not at that point - blogging is still a lifeline for me, something I do because I desperately need to say what I have to say, even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else (much like this comment, it seems).
I don’t think it’s a bad thing to do some navel-gazing once in a while. It may help redefine for yourself why you blog and that’s always a good thing to think about ocassionally.
I understand, my friend. You can always count on some love from me.
When you’re thinking that you’re writing the same things over and over again, please remember that not everyone has been reading your blog for the whole time.
But on my own list of 122 blog feeds yours is one of the top mosts read.
Like you, I’ve seen the state of the blogosphere. I refuse to go down the path of depression again. I read 100’s of posts a day and I turn a blind eye to the pain. I comment, offer support and I also celebrate the good stuff with others. Personally, I quit the design stuff for a while because I needed a break. A break to do what I wanted to do the most: write. I think that’s a good thing.
I’ve also seen those who were feeling down, start new projects and feel somewhat renewed.
Great post Izzy!
Karen
xo
Yannow….I’ve had many of these same thoughts. I’m not a high profile blogger, and I never have been. But I do enjoy the few comments that I get. There’s no getting around the fact that comments make blogging more fun. But….if cetting a bzillion comments means playing by someone else’s rules…well…no thanks. I’ve never been one to do that, I’m not going to start now.
So I try take blogging for what it is, not what I wish it was. And yes, I once entertained thoughts of being the next Dooce, because, let’s face it, who hasn’t?
But along the way, I learned that blogging was a catharsis for me. It encouraged me to flex my writing muscles again, and it helped me redefine my goals, find my true calling, and give the confidence to say, “I can do this”.
I considered quitting recently. But I decided I was looking at it from the wrong perspective. It’s for me. And if I happen to get a comment now and then, that’s just gravy.
Rambly, sorry. Just sharing my own somewhat disjointed thoughts on the issue. It’s been on my mind too.
I never thought about quitting but I did talk about blogging and what it means to me a whole lot lately and all the stuff/pressure that goes along with it hoping everyone will like me,etc. but I don’t care if I’m a big blogger. I dont care to admit that I do it as a job. I dont share everything and I dont plan on it. There are some parts of my life that I just keep out of blogging and like you I do feel untrue sometimes but I get over it. After all it is my blog(s).
I think you should just do what you want to do.
Thanks for the link. Since I wrote that post, I’ve pulled myself out of the funk I was in at the time. I’ve come to terms with the fact that people will read, or not, and will comment, or not, and it isn’t going to change what I write about or how often I post.
But then I wonder why I felt the need to start two other blogs(one for weight loss and one for T.V. topics) because I didn’t want to bore my regular readers. It’s my blog, if I want to write about weight loss or TV on it, that should be up to me.
I think it’s only natural that our blog topics would eventually start to repeat. Don’t worry about finding new ways to spin your life (which IS interesting, BTW) and opinions, just write from your heart. I read your blog because you are smart and witty and because you make me think. I hope you stay around for a long time.
I love to write. I love to blog.
But as I get overwhelmed with life, I find it hard to read others’ blogs and give them the support that I want to give them, and the audience I want for myself as well. “Do unto others…” after all.
The whole making-money-off-one’s-blog issue has cropped up more frequently such that sometimes I feel sad that I don’t have as many readers as I would like. This doesn’t compromise my writing. I don’t specifically tackle subjects to gain an audience. But, sometimes I am jealous of those who can write AND get paid. :)
On my ClubMom blog (karianna.clubmom.com), I discuss autistic spectrum disorders. This is something that interests only a portion of the population. I won’t abandon that, but yes… I wish I could have more of an audience.
So I get depressed about blogging, too. But it is a depression of wanting more feedback rather than a depression about writing. I won’t stop writing, and I need to remember that is the reason I started blogging! I shouldn’t worry about the popularity contest surrounding it.
I haven’t been doing this long enough to get to the same point you are right now, so I don’t have much to offer except to say that I read a lot of blogs, yours included, and sometimes I comment, and sometimes I don’t. I read you because the things you write about interest me most of the time. When they don’t, they don’t, just like any real life friend I have - some things I like, some I don’t, but it doesn’t mean that I get bored with my friends, and I look at blogs along the same lines even if I haven’t developed any relationships with anyone yet. Even if you wrote about reading the telephone book I would read it, because your writing makes that interesting. My blog is for me, and I have very, very few regular readers (maybe 5 I’m guessing), and my only regular commenter is someone who is a good friend IRL, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to stop writing. You do what you need to do, for you, whatever that is.
When you said that you were possibly “holding back a little?”, I nodded in agreement. That describes how I’ve felt lately and I’ve wondered why so many others seem to be writing about the same malaise that I”ve been feeling. Great post and hopefully this grey cloud will lift soon.
everyone feels these things. everyone thinks these things. whoever said its cyclical, BINGO. i find myself despairing over any one (or number) of these matters every few months or so (weeks? god, who knows anymore), but at the end of the day, EVERYDAY, with remarkable consistency, i think to myself that there is nothing else i’d rather be doing. so until that changes, here i’ll stay.
hang in there. lady. the doldrums are almost always temporary.
Yeah I scratched the 7 year itch and moved on… still enjoy it too much to quit, even though bitacle sucks and i have no idea why I get no freaking hits compared to the rest of the blogosphere. I’ve been blogging just shy of a year.
But, the malaise is mostly gone from me. Hope it leaves you soon too.
I’ve been feeling the 7-year itch myself - maybe it’s because I’ve been blogging for 7 months and if feels like 7 YEARS. Blogging is fun. Definitely. I love writing and reading and getting to know other bloggers, but lately I’ve been questioning the amount of time I put into it and is it worth it. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to give it up entirely, but I do want to make some changes so that blogging isn’t so all-consuming.
It’s also been tough to see Mama Tulip go and hear that Debbie won’t be around as much. When I see bloggers that I love exit the scene, it makes me feel like these blogging relationships that I really cherish, are really transitory and that’s kinda sad and lonely feeling - even if we might still stay in contact, it’s just not the same.
Regarding the issue of censoring: I have always enjoyed your blog and enjoy it most when you go off on your rants. I hope you will write whatever you feel passionate about - chances are that’s where your best writing will lie.
Just whatever you do, don’t leave blogging. Not yet anyway. I can’t stand to see another one of my favorite bloggers go.
I’ve gone through discouraging stages where I feel like nobody is going to be interested in what I have to say… but then I realize… who cares? When people first started blogging, we would write little paragraphs of nothing… and I recall I used to enjoy reading the inane thoughts of others. Nobody cared about how interesting a blog was, as long as it felt “real.” I think that still is what really matters today.
Izzy, I lurve you.
And, everything that Margalit said, up there in the very first comment? I was nodding my head and saying, “Yes, yes, hells yes”.
She just said it waaaaaay better than I could.
I’ve been blogging for coming up on 5 years, and I can tell you definitely it’s cyclical.
I think it’s just like anything. The novelty wears off a little and the less pleasant aspects tend to come to light. You fight it or succumb to it and then it passes. Something will come along to inspire you and you will feel it all come back to you.
Hi!
Finally delurking here.
I have been blogging for ever two years now, and I couldn’t relate more to your thoughts on loving the love. Blogging has definetely helped me. When my first born baby died and I posted a final goodbye, I received over a hundred comments from people I never knew expressing their sympathy (this was back on a different blog). And when I said we were releasing balloons on the day of her funeral, people I never met from all over the world released balloons too and even posted pictures on their blogs of them releasing the ballons. I drew a lot of strength from the support I received during that time, and I think that’s why I continue to write. The sense of community is very real.
I made a rule for myself when I started that I wouldn’t blog about blogging because my original intent and audience was my family - who could give two sh*ts about blogging so I have tried to be true to that, but I LOVE posts about blogging and devour them because I feel a lot of this too.
I wish “days off” from the blog weren’t such a sort of “set back” - like the whole blog-o-sphere will forget you if you don’t post consistently.
That said, I have also seen a really weird cycle of “out with the old and in with the new” in terms of those who comment (in some cases) so if you feel like you repeat yourself (or in my case talk about poo too much) you can at least rest assured that where the bored people jumped off the train, new ones got on.
I think it’s a cyclical thing out in the blog world and that everyone feels this way at one point or another. It just seems like everyone is in the cycle at the same time, lately.
Being true to yourself doesn’t always mean sharing everything. Write whatever you feel like writing. It may be one thing one day and something else the next and it’s OK to feel like you’re “putting on a show ” sometimes. Lord, if I thought I had to write everything I was feeling, no one would ever come to my place again.
Anyway, for what it’s worth, I find that the best way to get through it is to just write something, anything, until it passes.
It’s funny to me that in your expression of some frustration, I find encouragement. Thank you.
I started blogging in May because I got tired of answering the question, “How are your mom and dad?” truthfully. If I went to support groups for caregivers and children of terminally ill parents or something, I would be surrounded by caregivers and “children” who are my parents age. None of my friends can relate, and its tiring to talk about - and I know its tiring to listen to. So I blogged.
As my life got more interesting I wrote about other things, but it always came back to my folks. One other topic though was my marriage (this past July), new stepdaughter, and the Ex. Everything was kept anonymous, or I thought it was, but somehow the Ex found it and all hell broke loose in our voicemail inbox. All of the sudden, I felt exposed and violated even though I had posted on the very public internet.
Now I wonder what to do. I’ve started putting up the old posts on a new blog with the fake names replaced by other fake names. The profile has been stripped down, and I wonder if I will really get to be anonymous this time. Then I wonder if I really care if I’m anonymous.
All this to say, I have to write. I have to get it out. And when I can’t, I rely on the bloggers that I have latched onto, like you, and I read what you have to say. Honestly, I don’t care if it is about poop, the PTA, or the jackass in the convertible in front of you. I just like reading it because it helps me feel connected. Connected to other people who have to write.
Besides, would I have ever learned the fabulous term of “muffintop” had I not found your blog? I dare say, I would not.
Writing every day is tiring. Keep it up, and the good sentences will comfort you more than the audience. At least, that’s the way I feel. If I write long enough, maybe I’ll string together one that makes even me sigh.
This is my only my third month blogging, so I am still in my honeymoon phase, but have been reading about this quite often on other veteran blogs. I can easily imagine getting to the same point. It is just like everything else in life. Plus as the tides change, there is the other side of wanting things to remain the same. I hear a lot of bloggers talking about how the blogosphere has gotten “seedier” or less real. Sometimes, when I hear that it gets discouraging because I feel as a newcomer late to the game, I am part of that taint. Sometimes I hesitate to comment on established popular blogs (once I figured them out, that is) because I never know if they actually want me to. Am I intruding on a tight knit circle? Will I fit in? Will they like me as much as I like them?
But, I love reading about the “humdrum” lives of others. These are not things I have read a thousand times. I would love to go back and read archives for many blogs, but there are already too many current posts to keep up with as it is. Like Oh, The Joys said, us new people jump on and its all fresh and welcoming and insightful.
Your blog is fresh and welcoming and insightful. And, you should write about what is important to you for as long as you like, because is comes across in your voice and that is very inspiring! Especially for us newbies!
Welcome to my world, kiddo! I feel the same way you do! I think there’s a disconnect out there some place. I’m going to keep plugging away and I hope you do, too.
Oh Izzy, put on new shoes!!! I am so there with you. I am one of those out there who has been (quietly) struggling with the blogging self imposed crisis.
Going back to work has changed blogging for me. While I do still- intensly love and admire my kids and all the millions of things they say and do, I can’t blog about it anymore. I don’t have the energy to spend the time crafting the sentences to adequately convey the family moments I want remembered. I don’t have the energy or focus to blog about them the way I used to.
I find myself wanting to blog about different things than I used to, (like what’s going on in North Korea for example, or about the complications I face at work) but I have a quaint audience that I love, that I don’t want to bore, and I don’t know if they’ll be into it or whatever.
The part about being true to yourself is key I think. Like yourself, I need to take a look at the shoes I’m wearing and see if maybe I need a new pair for awhile. I can put on the old ones sometimes still, if the mood strikes me, but maybe it’s time for new ones- and if I lose some readers, I lose some readers.
I imagine this is what musicians go through too, when they are trying to “keep it real” and keep it about the “music”
Sometimes when you water things down to please more people you end up with mainstream stuff that sells, but is basically lacking in imagination. It sells, but it isn’t spectacular. Think Justin Timberlake or something.
I guess, I want my writing to be spectacular, and if it doesn’t sell (so to speak) I just need to get over that and write like an artist.
Being true to the craft.
Thanks for this post. Much like your post about “blog top sites” so long ago, it is just the kick in the arse I needed to get me moving.
I think it is so interesting that after so much time blogging you still feel those things. I guess it is just a part of blogging- that undertow of “why do I do this anyway!??”
I didn’t know there was a suicide plug in. That would be so dangerous for me. I would totally erase everything one night at 3am in a crazy PMS haze.
Don’t even tell me how to get that suicide plug in.
Izzy, you sure wrapped that up perfectly! I’ve been feeling like calling it quits and am struggling to keep at it. I think it just takes away a big part of my life, but then it does replace it with something as well–the love you speak of, though I get very few comments. And I’m surprised that it gets to me. But, I thank you for your honesty on this topic, because you do get A LOT more love and it is refreshing to hear that you can feel the same way. For now, I’m hanging in there but I’m wondering just how long it will be.
Not to oversimplify, but I think you just have to write for you and let the chips, (or comments) fall where they may.
I find when I get away from doing that, that is when the blog crazies set in.
Good luck Izzy!
Hello–I’m new here, I came over from Bub and Pie’s.
The life expectancy of a typical blog is apparently about three years. I’ve been doing this now, if you count from the day I went public as opposed to the for-friends-only format, for almost two years. Blog ennui comes and goes. I run out of things to say–for a week. I want to throw in the towel on the pettiness and backstabbing, and then someone I’ve never met offers to sew my daughter underwear. (Long story.) The bad chases me out then the good brings me back in.
The nonist termed this the blog life crisis, and had another good follow-up post about blog depression with a hilarious pamphlet.
That said, I say, let your politics out of the bag to play. People who love you will not turn on you because they disagree. If they do, they didn’t love you. When I decide to take that risk and post about something difficult, almost all of the time, I’m rewarded well beyond my expectations. YMMV, etc., but still.
It’s like you just opened my brain and scooped out everything I’ve been feeling lately.
I think that in the beginning, you just have so much to say, so many built up thoughts and idea starters with no place to put them. Then…well, they run out a little bit. Not entirely, but the initial rush dies down. It’s why writing the third act of a screenplay sucks so much reltaive to the first act. Hell, I’ve written tons of first pages!
Also, it’s fall. That’s always slows me down.
i wish people weren’t feeling so down about blogging..
personally, i’ve been blogging for more than 2 years, and finally feel like i’m coming into my own. people are FINALLY starting to comment, i’ve gotten myself a kick ass new name and template, regular readers and occasional new readers (love!), and i’m just really content in this blogosphere.
i’ve always got something to say…never coming up with just “filler”
so…i’m totally NOT burned out!
am i the only one?
It’s great to hear these kind of thoughts from popular blogger like yourself Izzy, so that I don’t feel I’m alone in this kind of thought at all. I too feel a bit “constipated” in coming up with these to write about. I’ve been censoring myself on the subjects I’d wouldn’t touch mainly b/c my parents and relatives read them. I’d should have kept my blog anonymous from family etc…that’s my only regret. Everything else has been great, the “online friends” that I’ve “met” has been more than the real life friends that I have.
My Google reader list is long but it consists of bloggers that I can relate to, they are hilarious, they are thought provoking, and people that I think are just real “cool”.
I thought about turning off my “comment” section, but heck who am I kidding? I love getting comments damnit! It’s like getting emails from long lost friends who just want to know how I was doing. So, that will have to stay. But I write subjects that I’m comfortable with. I don’t pretend to dabble in something that I’m not interested in or have no knowledge of, and the readers will know that through my “voice”.
But honestly, I get giddy when I get comments from the big cheese bloggers like yourself Izzy or HBM, or MetroDad, you guys are the pro in this I think. So keep on writing Izzy, and I’ll be here to comment, just b/c I luv your stuff.
Another newbie here, very saddened to hear about blogger burnout from such wonderful women writers. You all inspire in so many different ways and on so many levels. Even the candor and doubt expressed in this post. I hope that you feel the love in these comments, which are not about stats or trackbacks or building readership. They’re about you, baby! Hang in there . . . please.
Personally my favorite shoes are my old ones. I refuse to throw them away because I love them.
To compare them to blogging would be to say if the shoe fits, wear it. Izzy it looks like you’ve broken in your Jimmy Choo’s. Personally I don’t think I would ever find you to be boring.
I started blogging for me, and then the craze of writing for an audience hit, and I watched my stats obsessively. I hoped for a chance to make a living from my blog, like many did. But that craze passed as my stats didn’t get a lot higher, and paid jobs passed me by, and I realized I wasn’t going to be a famous blogger. Now I’m back to writing for me again.
I say write whatever you fancy, unworried that it might be unpopular or not a crowd pleaser. As can be seen from other people’s posts, sometimes the opinions you think will be unpopular are the ones that cause the largest amount of support instead.
I hear ya! I’ve only been blogging since January, and was doing just fine and dandy having no one even reading it. Once I started getting regular readers, I started scrambling for something worthy to write about to so I could keep people’s attention, and hence get comments, and then get on more blogrolls… a vicious circle! LOL
Now I’ve changed blog hosts, got a new fresh template, a new name, and I’m writing stuff I want to write about, whenever I feel like it, and I don’t care about the comments and readership anymore. If they like it, they’ll be back.
This was an awesome post, and SO TRUE.
it’s an evolution of sorts - sometimes it just takes stepping back to automatically reinvest…or yes, perhaps, with a new focus. no matter what you choose, you’ll choose well, because hey, that’s just my sense of you.
This isn’t the first wave of weird to hit the Blogosphere, and it probably won’t be the last. But then, there have been other times when the internet is ablaze with brilliant writing, and I can’t account for that, either. I just chalk it up to emergent behavior, and the ebbs and flows we have that influence those around us.
As for personal blogging blahs, I truly believe the only way through it is to keep writing, and posting, and let the chips fall where they will. Leave a window for inspiration to enter and it will come, eventually.
And it’s really important to try not to care whether people are enjoying your writing.
I say that like I can do it. But seriously, nothing sucks the joy out of an endeavor more than doing it to please the critics.
BTW: I love your writing. So, there’s one less person to worry about…
argh…something in the air these days for sure. I feel torn because I love blogging, I love the reading the commenting the writing the feedback. BUT, being an addictive personality I find that it is eating just so much of my time. Striking a balance in life especially as a SAHM is so damn hard…..
Roo is right: ebbs and flows. I’m more amazed when someone I read never seems to have a slow period. Blogging, for me at least, is so personal, that it is tied to my every mood. When things in my life are uninteresting, so is my blog. And worrying about pleasing the commenters just makes it feel so much more like an obligation. I like taking breaks–going away for a week and not checking, not even once. It’s rejeuvenating. And I know, now that I’ve been blogging for almost 2 years, that it goes up and down. I love your blog, too, Izzy, and if it helps at all, I love it more when it’s raw, when it’s real, when you are not trying to please us all.
Thank you for this. I appreciate the time and thought that went into it :)
I guess, ultimately, you have to examine your own motivations and do what works for you. And for you, I hope that means continuing to write your blog. You lay it all out there with such raw sincerity that many people, myself included, can’t help but nod along as they read.
Like any marriage (assuming you’re married to your blog, I suppose), you have to find a way to keep the flame lit, to spark the magic.
thank you for this. i very much relate. i ‘killed’ my blog for a few days and then realised i can’t let it go completely so i moved my blog from wordpress to blogger so i could cure some of my fixation on checking my stats 30 times a day. i had serious blog burn out because i had heard you must post every second day to keep readership. i was neglecting my kids. i became very depressed because i would sit up till 2am reading and sometimes commenting on other people’s blogs and then thinking WTF did i do that for?? i have so little me time and that’s how i spent my evening? the reason i started blogging was to practice my writing (somethin i love doing) and because i wanted to share a few ‘wisdoms’ i had learned through parenting and because i wanted my words to have a positive effect on others and because i needed to do something creative for ME. i am more focused now on what i want to achieve and yet i still feel bleg! sometimes about blogging. your post has helped me tweak my definition of what it is i want. thank you for sharing. sometimes these feelings are very raw and make you hate yourself. good luck!!