Weekend Wrap Up (aka Don’t Piss Off a Blogger with a Camera)
The weekend began a little early at our place since there was no school on Friday. I decided to forgo all the other things I could have and should have done and took the kids to get their portraits done at Sears. I really needed to do it. P hasn’t had an official picture taken since last fall and when he’s old enough to notice that our living room is practically a shrine to his sister’s babyhood…well, let’s just say I already feel bad enough. Thus the portraits needed to be taken though I loathe the experience. It’s always an exercise in totally masochistic self-flagellation and not in a good way. *sigh*
I won’t take you through every detail of the entire ordeal because I’m sure most of you have already experienced it for yourselves. Suffice it to say that two kids equals twice the fun, particularly when one just wants to escape from the photo studio and does, with great success, numerous times. But my real issue is with the photographers. The lady takes like seven shitty pictures and declares our session complete and I’m all “Wha??? But I don’t LIKE these pictures. How can we be done?”
She says “What’s wrong with them? Tell me what you don’t like about each one.”
Grrrrrrrrrrr… I feel my head getting really close to exploding.
So she finally concedes and takes pictures of them standing, which I asked her not to do. Then she changes the background, which I asked her not to do. And then she wants them to lay down and take pictures looking down at them. WTH? What about normal pictures where they sit and smile at the fricken camera?
So after all the photo fun comes the mindmelting experience of choosing poses and packages and sheets and other stuff that makes my head spin every time. Urrrrgggghhhhhh. We finally got the hell out of there with some cute portraits but I swear to God, next time I’m going somewhere where they do it down and dirty, like WalMart.
On Saturday, we went to a gymnastics birthday party and while it was fun for my daughter and son, it was mostly a workout for me chasing P around this gigantic facility for two hours.
When it was time to eat, I’m trying to get some food for P and I but while I’m trying to corrall him with one arm and carry juice boxes and pizza with the other, strange children are handing me their plates asking for second slices of pizza.
Um hello? Do I look like I have a free fricken hand to go fetch you some more pizza? Ask your mom to get it for you. Oh wait…YOUR mom is over there enjoying a nice plate of food and a beverage and engaging in some adult conversation. Hmmmph! And then I got them their damn pizza with my third arm. Sucker.
Saturday night, I spent a couple hours cataloging all my mp3’s. Why? I don’t know. I just felt like it. So now I have a list and while it’s not representative of my entire music collection, it is a pretty accurate list of what’s in my iTunes at this moment.
When I was done with that, I googled varying combinations of the the words “mom” “mommy” “SAHM” and “The Pixies” “Janes Addiction” “Butthole Surfers” “Depeche Mode” “Pink Floyd” because it occurred to me that I don’t really have any mom friends who share my musical tastes. None. And that’s really sad, ya know? So many good concerts have come through town and I haven’t had anyone to go with (because we don’t have any babysitters so the huz and I don’t go to anything like that together). As far as I can tell, I am a member of a very small club with maybe three members.
Today, Sunday, we didn’t do that much. Early in the day I took the kids outside to play for a while. We walked to get a Sunday paper and I took some great pix of my daughter. Later the whole fam piled into the badass momvan and we went to Wild Oats. I lured the huz with the prospect of one of their fantabulous sandwiches.
We ended up getting sandwiches AND desserts plus groceries and it was all good except for some asshat from the deli giving me crap about taking a picture of my kids. I guess they have some unposted policy about photography in their stores. WTF? I take my camera everywhere and nobody ever bothers me about it.
I was mildly snarky to the guy when I told him that even though I was a corporate spy for Trader Joe’s, I had no intentions of putting my camera away. I decided to chill out, though, and obey their silly rule ONLY because I didn’t want to embarrass my husband like I have so many other times when people get me riled up.
So we bought our groceries and I had to fight like hell the urge to take some photographs of their perfectly merchandised Odwalla juice display. It was so colorful. And the beer. My God, they have a beautiful beer section! Not an empty space on the shelf and so many colors and pretty packages. As a designer, the visually appealing is so hard for me to resist. Bastards.
On the way home, I was trying to merge into traffic so I wouldn’t be forced to get on the interstate and this jerk saw me trying to change lanes WITH my signal on and sped up so I couldn’t get over, almost causing an accident. That was not only rude but also really dangerous. So I did what any good blogger with a camera would do…I got behind him and took his picture. So there.
My hubby and I almost got kicked out of Ikea for taking photos. We only wanted to remember what the bed we were looking at was like when we got home. I said to the guy “What do you think we’re going to do, take a photo and go home and build one ourselves?” Anyway they ended up p’ing off hubby who spent the next 15 minutes going around the store taking photos sneakily just to teach them a lesson. I couldn’t be sure what that lesson actually was.
I would go to any one of those concerts with you…I love those bands…and if Pink Floyd ever tours again, I’ll fly to wherever you are to see them…I thinkI’m going to catalog my iPod tunes…let’s make a bloglist!
Great shot of the ‘buttlick’ in the Porsche…I love that idea…
I think the words “sears portrait studio” still cause my parents to shudder and develop a tick. Nice photographic revenge on captain small weenie.
Do you know I have never brought my kids in for formal portraits? I am so thankful I was too lazy to do it with the oldest one so I never had to keep up ;-)
I bring my camera everywhere also, and photograph everything. But I have yet to get anything as fabulous as that car.
Ha ha ha, I love that car shot!
The snowbirds must be back in town!
I’m taking the girls` for pictures in their bumble bee costumes this Thursday. If we all make it out alive, they are both in the photo and no one has bitten the nose off of the (usually lifeless) photographer who is always clucking at my children like a chicken… it will be a success.
Wish us luck.
Look at how beautiful your children are…
There is so much great music out there. There should, maybe there is (?) for mommybloggers who love their tunes to be able to share them with each other….
HA! Too funny with the car. It IS a beauty car though. I don’t know why drivers act like that either, but it does give you a glimpse of their idiot personality, doesn’t it?
Hate Sears. And I hate the way the lure you in with their package deals which turn out to be way more money than what they’re supposed to be.
I would’ve taken pics of the displays. Too funny - Izzy Papparazzi. You stalker, you. *wink*
I like Pink Floyd off your list, but I have to admit that besides Depeche Mode I wouldn’t know the others if I heard them, but probably would like them. The last concert I saw was either Rush or Guns and Roses back in the late 90s, I think - none since we had the kids, unless you count jazz and orchestra stuff played by our friends.
Oh, and portraits? I HATE Sears. We go to JC Penney or Target, but sometimes it’s worth it to shell out for The Picture People, because their photographers are more…..with it, you know?
i loathed taking my kids to sears for pictures. they always had 14-year-old girls who barely spoke English taking the shots. and it was always a challenge for me to pick out the least offensive of the poses. HATE!
HA! I love it. My fondest desire is for him to have this pinned to his computer when he gets to work this morning.
This is why I love you!
(So when you were googling, did you land on my site?)
I LOVE Jane’s Addiction - drove all the way to Florida to see them way back when…
Love the Pixies too… Sonic Youth, The Flaming Lips… all that.
A word on the Butthole Surfers. Gibby Haynes (Hayes?), one of the members, went to college here in Texas. (Austin College, I think). He’s the son of a well known (local) children’s tv show….long gone…but one I watched faithfully as a child. It was called “Mr. Peppermint”. I can send you the link.
Same but different:
Same music taste.
Different way of dealing with asshat drivers - you snap pictures, I run plates and accidentally enter an outstanding warrant. Your guys is now wanted for solicitation of male prostitutes. (Joking. joking! Maybe …) ;-)
Oh, Izzy, I am now officially crushing on you….
As for the Sears portrait thing, try taking thirteen kids, between the ages nine and under, including two handicapped children and two more who are too young to sit by themselves, and getting them all to smile at the same time.
Or even look in the same direction. After tears, threat and usually some vomit, I’m here to tell you it can be done. But only if you self-medicate first….
Izzy, I think that just might beat Kristen’s tale of locking the pimp daddies out of their Crown Vic. I bow down to you.
We’re going to the Pet Shop Boys concert in two weeks - wanna go too?
Good for you with the picture. The only thing better would have been if you could have cut him off and taken a picture of his front. And what’s up with the no pictures in grocery stores? It is a free country still, right?
That’s awesome that you took his picture and posted it online. If he ever does a google search for “red porche” he could find himself!
And yeah, I need to get Cordy’s pic taken again, but now that she’s a toddler, it is so much harder to do. Ugh.
You and my husband would get along well. He takes pictures of everything - in stores, restaurants, where ever. I’ll admit I don’t always get it.
But I LOVE that you took these photos of the car!!
Your daughter has the most beautiful hair I’ve ever, ever seen! She is incredibly gorgeous. What offspring you have produced!!!
And at the grocery store I shop at they do have a thing when you walk in about not taking pictures in the store and I always thought, WTF? Is all the food Amish or something? Weird.
Hee hee! You crack me up posting pictures of jerks./ People should do this more often. and if I was closer, I’d totally go to concerts with you… Sadly, they are expensive enough without the airfare!
Now if only you knew where he worked you could blanket his office with this fine picture.
Yay for you getting back at the asshat for cutting you off. He totally looks like a jerk-o in that red convertible.
I carry my camera with me everywhere too. Yesterday on the way to the pumpkin patch (where I planned to take the cutest pics of Little Guy EVER ), I turned on my camera only to find out that my battery camera was depleted. I swear I almost hperventilated.
We’d never take the kids to the portrait studio any more. The kids they hire are like from HS. And they could careless for a good picture or for working with children. So we use our digital camera for everything but unfortunately the pictures get emailed but not really printed.
Good for you for taking that pix of that jerk! That ought to teach him a lesson for messing with any mom in their momvans.
That “sorry about your penis” line (or implication) never gets old, and you know it’s the root of all a-hole behavior. That camera keeps people honest. Keep snapping, Izzy.
That is an awesome picture! You are my hero!
P.S. We really like the portrait studio at our Target. I don’t know if they are all good, but we’re very happy with this one. We like the photographers, always get good pictures, there’s never a wait, and they are very reasonably priced.
I hate our local Sears Portrait Studio. They never keep appointments on time and they are always trying to push me into buying more prints than I can afford. I hate to say that I find it better at Walmart.
Sears Portrait Studio = my biggest nightmare job. Can you imagine?
The red porsche photo is priceless. I almost wanna spent the $29 to do a reverse lookup on him.
I love that you called him “buttlick”.
As for music- even my kids like a good round of “Here comes your man”- they even sing along!
Sears portraits- we did that for a few years. Now we are lucky to have a close family friend who has gotten into the portrait business and does a lot of candid shots for us in return for computer support from my husband. Much less stress than choosing a damn background- when the girl kept calling the muslin fabric background “muslim”, I knew we were in trouble.
I love you.
Are you going to BlogHer next summer?
Because if you are, I’m going to find you and hump your leg :)
I LOVE the caption you put on that photo. Don’t mess with Izzy! heeheee. And gah. I share you loathing of the photography people!
I love Jane’s Addiction! And completely loathe the whole portrait experience too!
We are a rare breed.
Okay, one very important word for you in regards to portrait studios…TARGET. (really, my solution to, oh, everything.) It’s totally the only way to go. God help the woman who tries to get ‘em done at Walmart.
As for the music, I am sooo there with you. Just this morning, on the way to his PC little Momtessori school this morning, my son was belting out, “We don’t need to edgy-cashion!” Gotta love it.
So thrilled that I came up on the cool music SAHM search.
Love the blog.
DAMN.. I swear I need to start carrying my camera more often. So many photo ops that are just passing me by!
I wish that I was one of your real-life mom friends. We could rock out to Jane’s Addiction, and make the other moms work gymnastics patrol.
The midlife crisis car didn’t improve his driving or his manners. It also didn’t increase his penis size which he was hoping for most of all.
I was once called down many years ago for taking pictures in a tourist-y spot. They had a sign posted that said NO camcorders. I had just purchased my first digital camera….plain digital. The argue with the redneck-edy woman became one over whether the camera was a camcorder. (Twasn’t) Her words were…..we don’t wan’t nothing on the internet or ‘nothing. It was strange.
You Rock Izzy! That is sweet revenge. Take that small penis man!
Jane says…have you seen my wig around? I feel naked without it…
sounds like a midlife crisis car..or a very small…oh never mind. you go, girl.
unposted policy about photography? That’s crazy
Lure the husband shopping with promises of yummy food. I’ll have to remember that.
I love that music too. I couldn’t live without my Sirius 22 “Classic Alternative”. Commercial free, nonstop, Depeche Mode, Pixies, Ramones, Social Distortion, Smiths, and the list goes on and on.
Love, Love, Love the fact that you took the asshole-porche-picture. He looks a bit pissed off…he he he. Yeah, I can safely say-I dont miss Fla.
Izzy, fully a third of my iPod is Depeche Mode. LOVE THEM.
Bastard asshat with the car! I almost died Monday when some jerk passed some car when I was really close - I had to dart almost into the ditch to avoid him. *middle finger up*
Izzy, my dear, you are bad ass. I love it!
Good on ya, Izzy. I haven’t been back to FL since I moved away in 1983, but then again where I live the traffic is just as horrendous, especially this time of the year when the snowbirds flock back. ‘m afraid to take photos of idiots on wheels, though, for fear of having a large firearm pulled out on me!
I really don’t understand the no photograph policy at stores. I can understand the policy being in place in a casino (I guess), but a grocery store? Sheesh, WTF?
I don’t envy you the Sears Portrait Studio experience. I gave that up when both kids started grade school since they get their photos taken twice yearly now. I must say we did get some cute photos of both kids while at Sears, but I don’t miss those days.
Oh, and even though you and I don’t share the same taste in music (I’m more of a pure rock chick myself rather than alternative stuff), I hear ya when it comes to not sharing that taste with other mom friends. One of my pals loves Celine Dion (gack!), and still another has developed a taste for really obscure folk guitar STUFF. Huh? Before my sister moved away (to FL of all places!) and my other babysitter moved away to attend college in Colorado, hubby and I did get to attend two concerts that really made my year: U2 (tix cost a bundle, BTW) and John Mellencamp. Maybe you’ll be able to get away for something that floats your boat soon. Because w/o music, what’s the point?
Hey now, maybe going to a new sears studio would be the best bet. I work at the one in Niles, Ohio and all of my co-workers are either photography students in college and/or mothers of children (whom they also take to SPS) We do a wonderful job, and the job is effing stressful. Fun, but I swear - I’m twenty and my hairs are already greying. We definatly don’t get paid enough to put up with some of the dumbass shit that people put us through. Like that god forsaken 9.99 package…People always want that and thennnn they get mad because another sheet would be 19.99 if they get it instead of 7.99 if they don’t.
If you want more than one pose don’t get the fucking package, genius. Half the time I just want to explode on people because I know they’re you’re god-damned pictures but I take my pictures at Sears too and there is no place else I would go. Picture People is so fucking expensive, the people at JCPenny are stuck up, Walmart’s pictures ALWAYS look like fucking crap, and Olan Mills has horrible quality.
You’re photographer could have done a better job with you. The best way to handle that, go to Tellsearsportrait.com tell them her name and what she did - and if anything it will be sent to her manager and she will learn her mistakes.
If no one says anything the photographers don’t know what you want out of the session. I personally work to capture the smiles, unique poses, and general silliness of each and every kid that walks into the studio. But it fails miserably when the parents or kids walk in with bad attitudes. I found if you make pictures a “fun” thing and not a “get it over with” thing than kids are better in the studio and you’ll be much happier with the results.
My opinion is not an indictment against Sears Portraits. Just a recap of my experience. You really shouldn\’t take it so personally. And I have to disagree. The photographer sets the tone for the shoot. A pleasant and professional photographer with a positive attitude (who doesn\’t act like you\’re totally inconveniencing them when you have an actual opinion) can work miracles, I know because I\’ve been lucky enough to get someone like that once or twice. And your blanket criticisms of all your competitors is a bit hard to swallow. Sometimes they\’re good, sometimes they\’re not. Same as Sears…