Okay, Where are the Cameras?
I went to the 24 hour CVS tonight to pick up a few things, including some cough syrup and a decongestant because I have yet another kindergarten cold.
As I exited the cold medicine aisle, marveling over how one human body can manufacture so much snot, I spotted Jennifer Weiner’s new book and stopped to take a gander. I was flipping around, trying to decide if the book of short stories was any good when I heard an accented voice next to me.
“Excuse me”
I look over to see a nicely-groomed blondish guy, not really “hott” but not scary nasty, either. Apparently, he is speaking to um…me.
“Yes?”
“I would like to tell you that you are very beautiful” he said, spoken slowly and in an accent I cannot identify; possibly Russian or eastern European.
Huh? I mean I’m having a pretty good hair day and I know a woman with a phlegmy cough is SO irresistible but seriously…this is like Candid Camera or something, right? Where is Allen Funt?
But instead I just smile and say “thank you” because I can’t even remember the last time a person of the male persuasion complimented me, which is kind of pathetic on my part. I mean he could be a con artist or serial killer or something and I’m smiling at him.
But wait…I can see he’s winding up to say something else.
“I would like to ask you…”
Don’t tell me. Let me guess. You need some money for a cab because your car is broken down.
Or you need help picking out tampons for your sister/girlfriend/roomate.
Or…I’ve got it! You want me to buy you beer because you lost your passport, right?
“…can we go to a date together?”
The hell? A date? You want to go to a date? I glance over my shoulder looking for the cameras as I tell him in my trés sexay (read: hoarse) Demi Moore voice that I am married. I even show him my ring just in case he wants to debate the point. But he doesn’t. He just say’s “Oh, okay” and hightails it out of there.
I’m not totally convinced that he didn’t have an ulterior motive because seriously, what normal guy is hitting on older women in a drugstore at 11:30 pm?
He could be part of some foreign white slavery ring that specializes in frumpy American housewives because a certain sultan overseas prefers them and his M.O. is to find them out alone at night and flatter them and convince them to go out with him and when they do, he kidnaps them.
Stop rolling your eyes already. It could happen.
I told hubz when I came home and he laughed.
Laughed, dammit!
Come on, you should be totally flattered! Probably the reason most men don’t ask you out is because they notice your wedding ring. I mean, I think you look lovely in your photo. Would hubz have laughed quite as hard if you’d taken the Eastern European hunk up on his offer?
A date! Yeah,you should totally be flattered!
I don’t even remember the last time someone… well who cares. Good for you!
That’s not surprising Izzy! You are hot with that bang and all!! The hubbie laughed a nervous laugh right?! Like, he has competition kind of laugh right, yeah I thought so!
Take it as a compliment. Although, I think it would have made me a tad nervous too. But I tend to overanalyze everything.
Damn hubs for laughing….Must’ve been a jealous/nervous giggle that an insecure man would give right?
You hottie you. Even with boogers, you pick up men at the store. I don’t think I like you anymore..hee hee.
Ha ha ha ha! I’ve had guys do it while I have the little guy with me - um…. ok?? People are odd. It’s good for the ego now - smack your DH though ;).
Shut uuuuuuup. I have met your loveliness in person, and if I was the type of dude to hang out in the pharmacy picking up women, I would totally ask you out. As far as your husband….well, he’s just jealous.
I was going to ask you the same thing at BlogHer, but you tricked me with your name and I’ll never ever get over that. *sob*
Well, first of all, you are beautiful :)
Second, I bet it would have been nice if your hubby wanted to kick the guy’s butt, right?
Dude. I’d pay money to hear that.
And you’re hot. That’s what you get :)
That comes as NO surpise to me, lady…you still stand as one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. Ever. I’d ask you out, but I hear you’re married.
;)
Good grief Izzy. You are cracking me up. I’m picturing Barishnykov courting Sarah Jessica Parker in SATC.
But I dig the kidnapping scenario. I think you’ve got a pretty good plot outline for a novel.
(And it doesn’t surprise me a bit - you are glamorous, snot or not.)
Face it sweet. You’re a hottie.
Do you know the last time I got asked out on a date? Because I don’t.
Wow. Congrats. You go hot momma~
Your thought process is hilarious, and universal.
You must be one hot mama!
Hey, be flattered! We all think you’re hot and apparently you’re just the sultan’s taste, too… ;0)
Listen, Izzy, you take that compliment (and it’s a good one!) and run straight to the bank. You’re sizzling, snot and all. (”I’m…too sexy for CVS…too sexy for CVS…too sexy…”)
he wanted to kidnap you. hell, i want to kidnap you. but earth to izzy.. YOU ARE HOT. seriously. prrrrrrrr
Woo-hoo! Yay for a compliment from a good lookin’ foreign stranger. But I would have been nervous, too. I just don’t trust people these days, especially foreign men late at night.
So what if it was a little funny, he totally asked you out! Hot Mama! You’ve still got it.
Oh Izzy, how fabulous for you!
You are totally hot, I’m surprised it doesn’t happen more often!
My husband pissed me off recently when a man hit on me at the gym. I told my husband and he laughed too, which sparked a discussion on taking me for granted and other guys think I am attractive too etc. etc. I think sometimes we are a little too secure in our married roles. Couldn’t he just pretend to be jealous?
If hubby asked you later on for any more details, it’s a good sign it was a nervous laugh and not a “yeah, right, like THAT could happen” laugh.
If it was the later, he needs a nipple tweak when he least expects it.
You go girl!
Take it as a compliment! You are a hot mama and deserve recognition. These poor slubs at your local random stores just can’t help but being attracted to you!
Well, duh, you. You are a hottie!
I hope you hit your husband with the cold medicine.
..lor it could be that you’re one freakin’ hot mama. I mean, go figure. It could not be that he’s possessed by drugs or demons, but by common sense…
shesh.
He was totally hitting on you- stop making excuses for your hottness!
Oh, I have one for you- the other day I was in the food court at the mall- and I had my tray of food propped up on the stroller like I always do, pushing away toward the tables. And some weirdo business dude on a cell phone who just kept walking around the food court in circles- comes up to me and asks me if I want him to push my stroller for me!!! WTF? NOOO I DO NOT WANT TO RELINQUISH CONTROL OF MY DAUGHTER’S DESTINATION TO YOU- A TOTALLY WEIRD STRANGER.
Hey! Score one sexy Slavic guy to the hott chick! You’re breaking hearts left and right!
Your red, runny nose really brings out the color in your eyes….
Hey, just savor the compliment and let it go to your head a little.
Having met you in person, I know that you are one hot mama so I’m only surprised that you don’t get MORE strange men asking you out in drugstores. The last guy that told me I was hot was a homeless guy and that was weeks ago. *sigh*
You are totally hawt, lady! Deal with it.
Lisa
I wish I could be a white slave magnet. ;) Yay for you!
You hot momma you.
Your hubster better quit laughing. You never know when you might decide to trade him in for the drug store model…
Laughed?! And it was that horror flick laugh too huh! How dare he. :)
Were you clinching your purse as you left the store, scanning to see if he was hiding behind a white van?
Why do we automatically think a guy that compliments us has to be crazy or into white slavery! You.are.a.babe!
Very funny post!
I laughed. But not at you. With you. The joys of being hit on in random places! I forget those joys. LOL.
Oh, I MISS CVS ….. out here in northern california, we DON’T have CVS’s…. can you believe that? We have Longs Drugs and Walgreens… ick!
take the compliment and run! How fun!!!
jill
Look at the hot phlemy babe!
A similar thing happened to me about a month ago and when I told my husband he thought I was kidding. When he realized I wasn’t then he laughed too. Laughed!
Woo hoo!
I especially like the accent and the awkward English. “Go to a date.”
Oh, admit it… you’re so hot… everyone wants you! It’s nice to be reminded once in a while, even if your silly husband doesn’t believe it!
Too funny!
But you know, random compliments like that just make my day.
He wants you, he really wants you.
*wink*
(and kick the husband in the ass - they get too complacent three months into a marriage — it’s in the testosterone gene)
I hate when they laugh when other guys appreciate our hotness. Bastard husbands!
I would totally hit on you if I was young, European, and allowed out after 11:00 PM. Totally!
That is so nasty he laughed! He deserves some Thoughtless Hubby of the Year Award for that, I tell ya.
He left after you said no. I’m thinking owners of slave rings don’t really care about that. They’ll just take you. So, I’d say he was genuine.
Too bad you didn’t have a camera phone, eh? Then you could have shown us his cuteness.
Oh woman, you’ve still got it goin’ on!
I think that is so adorable that he was so polite and wanted to go on a date! Now tell us, if you were not married would you have said yes?
I can’t help but giggle, tis the cutest and sweetest thing I’ve heard!
Yes, husbands laugh, but deep down they are jealous.
I think I should set a goal for myself to become so hott that I am hit on by random guys at the drugstore. Yep, that’s my motivation right there.
And like everyone else, I think you’re stone-cold gorgeous, and would love to go to a date with you. How’s next July in Chicago?