Sep 13 2006
How am I Supposed to Know That?
I could write a long post about all the crazy searches I get here but about 90% of them, while sometimes weird, nonsensical or gross, are typically looking for something to do with sex, balls, boobs, muffin tops, KY products and shirtless celebrities. Yup.
So yeah, I’m not even going to bother listing all the humdingers I get in an average week because today…I got the piece de resistance; that which cannot be topped. *cue MC Hammer’s U Can’t Touch This*
(Warning: link above is not work safe!)
How am I supposed to know the answer to THAT? Geez…
And I’m not even on the first three pages of search results. How do these people end up here?
After 14 years together, a sweet “honey…you are a bit stinky…could’ja take a shower?” is all I need to say…
Ahhh the ease of a long term relationship…..
Ewwwww. Did it not occur to the searcher to ask him to bathe? Although if you read True Wife Confessions, there are a heck of a lot of men for whom bathing seems to be optional. Gag.
Oh, man. Oh, man!!! She must have been looking very earnestly!
Dude. I rarely go through the search phrases that have led people to me, but I did last night and was laughing my ass off. 1) Why are they searching for this stuff? and 2) Why are they clicking on US to find the answers?
*falls off chair laughing hysterical*
Snicker, snicker…
I guess the girl really wanted to do her homework before broaching that subject!
Poor woman!
Heh, heh. Poor woman. Why don’t you throw her a bone and answer her question. Come on Iz.
Oh no!! :)
Ha!
But seriously, Iz…how do I tell him his penis stinks?
WOW! How do you top that is right! How about this “did you bat for the other team or something? Your weewee stinks!” How’s that for gross!
you need to make a tutorial
i’m sure there are other women out there
BWHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
Maybe google just assumes that you are the authority on this.
Wow.
Hilarious!
Not my area of expertise. I could never tell someone that they had BO or bad breath or a smelly penis.
Ok, I laughed out loud. And then I thought…EWWW!
You always say the craziest shit. You crack me up!!!!
I think the direct approach is best. Unless we’re talking about someone you don’t know well, in which case, how would you know about the stank in the first place? ;o)
THAT is funny.
What I want to know is what they actually ended up saying.
PS Thanks for the support on my new hairdo. I didn’t have the words to describe it, but “Sassy” was perfect! Thanks!
muffin tops!! That is the best part! When did you write about those….. going to check archives.
Lisa
I’d offer your search engine guest, “Honey if he’s putting it up your nose, you’ve got really big problems!.”
i’m dying of laughter. i get all sorts of weird searches too…but that one? takes the cake.
ew.
There are some nutso’s out there. You know what search I got today. I kid you not:
“black women blow up doll to have sex with”
Yeah.
I’m disturbed, not only by the search, but that the first listing is instructions on how to wash a penis…
can’t touch this? Wouldn’t want to?! Jeepers, that does beat all, ahem. and I wish I hadn’t opened it AT WORK!
God. I just peed in my pants a little bit.
Not fair, I am at work!
::wiping tears of suppressed laughter from eyes::
(Oh. Did you just add that NSFW thing? Got here thru Bloglines, so… may have missed it. Or else I just can’t read. Hmm.)
Wow. Yup. “YOu can’t touch this” is a great song to hear in one’s head while one clicks on that link!
But you did return the smelly ball toilet seat….:)
OH ICK! I get some really weird searches too. Just today: “Danny Devito dressed like a baby” (5 pages in! Who would search that hard for THAT?)
Too funny Iz.
That link did not disappoint! I’d say, tell him carefully. Wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings.
We all need to band together to help this poor woman. Or man. I’m just sorry we have to do it through your site. eeewww.
That really does take the cake!
Son went to bed. have more time to read. Oohhhhh, that kind of muffin top. Hilarious. I hate freaking lowrise jeans. It gives even the skinniest people love handles. Why would designers do this to women? Don’t we have it hard enough?
Lisa
i am so laughing right now. what-the-fuck-ever! how the hell can a penis smell? sweaty balls, i can understand, but the penis? obviously, it’s more of an issue than i ever knew. all i have to say is in my ?? years of encountering penises, i have never run across a stinky one. more power to the women who are dealing with this bizarre affliction. yea, more power to them.
What the heck? That’s funny!
Leave him a note in his lunch box? Shit, I don’t know. How DO these people find you?
LMAO!!
Ladies let’s be honest here…if you are in a position of being that close as to notice there is a bad odor, you should be allowed the direct and honest approach!
ROFL! I’m thinking Googleing may not be in the best idea in that situation.
Telegram? Smoke signals? Sign language?
How about “Hey, dude. Your penis stinks.” End of story. LOL.
ROFL
Let’s see. You could:
name a star “stinky penis man” and give it to him as a gift
hire a plane to write it in the sky
write it out on a lite-brite screen
tattoo it on your ass …
There are so many ways, one shou ld not have to resort to google-ing it!
The really funny thing is that whoever searched for this topic went through three pages of hits, and still kept going.
And you don’t know - it could be a man searching for the answer to that question.
I guess there’s no graceful way to break that kind of news.
The pointing and gagging didn’t clue him in?
I got something similar once. It was something like “how do I know if my penis is small” … I am sure getting my blog was quite a disappointment!
LOL! That is too funny. She should just buy him a bar of soap and a can of Axe…
Oh my god. That is the funniest thing I have seen all damn day. Holy jesus.
lololololol