Teaching Moments

Today I took my daughter to a birthday pool party. It was actually for the little sister of a girl that was TQ’s best friend in preschool last year. They have stayed friendly throughout the summer and this friend that I’ll call Emily came to TQ’s birthday pool party a couple weeks ago.

When we arrived at the party, Emily was already in the pool, as were many other kids. TQ got right in and sought out Emily, who was playing with her Dad and another guest. TQ repeatedly tried to engage Emily but it was obvious she was enjoying playing with the other girl and her father. TQ came to me, very upset, on a couple different occasions and said that Emily “wasn’t noticing her.”

While my heart broke for my little girl, I also remembered that at her birthday I had to remind her over and over, to no avail, to play with ALL her guests instead of one particular girl. I also remembered seeing Emily looking at TQ and her friend with the same sad look I now saw in my daughter’s eyes. So when she came to me, lamenting that Emily wasn’t playing with her, I told her I was sorry and that I knew it hurt her feelings BUT that perhaps that was how Emily was feeling at her party and that perhaps she should be more understanding of Emily’s behavior because she surely didn’t mean to exclude TQ.

I had to ask myself if I wrong to use this as a “teaching moment”? A part of me felt like it was and that I should have just comforted her and been there for her. The other part of me feels like I wouldn’t be doing her any favors to not using this opportunity to teach her empathy.

Many times in the last few years, where TQ’s social life is concerned, I have wondered if I’ve sacrificed the validity of her feelings in favor of trying to show her the error of her ways. I just want her to grow up to be a kind and empathetic person.

But maybe I’m just showing her that the one person in the world that she thought she could count on is just going to criticize her and throw her mistakes back in her face, which is how my mom handled things. She didn’t mean to be hurtful; that’s just how she was raised and I never want to be like that to my daughter. I never want her to feel like she doesn’t have me in her corner.

In the end, TQ got to have some time playing with Emily later on and went home happy but I still question if I handled the situation properly.

The Secret Life of Shwag

Below is a little photoessay revealing some of the shwag I’ve gotten recently, starting with this promotional notepad my husband gave me for the movie Little Miss Sunshine. On the inside are messages printed lightly across the paper. I read them and mused that this must have been made for women like me who have pretty intense PMS. I wonder if he’s trying to tell me something…

Check out my gorgeous little P in his Minti shirt (this is the part where you agree with me that he is, in fact, adorable) Thank you Christina for letting me have the last toddler sized shirt. In the other pix he’s sporting his bitchin’ Trans Am shirt courtesy of the very generous and creative Dutch, who was like Santa Claus at BlogHer, handing out cool shirts to everyone. Click to enlarge and view in maximum cuteness mode.

Above we have the Elexa condom case from the BlogHer shwag bag. TQ promptly co-opted it to keep “stuff” in. In this photo, she has a pencil and the Intel highlighter mini-markers, which she also absconded with, tucked inside it. My husband snagged the condom that came with it and stashed it somewhere, saving it for that rare occasion where we do that thing. What’s it called again? Six? Sex? Something like that…

I also wanted to let you all know that after a less than stellar experience two nights ago with Boston Market, I opened another blog. I’d been rolling this idea around for a while in my head but after getting home, unwrapping a “toasted” Turkey sandwich and finding a charred black thing instead, I was inspired to start a new blog called Props and Pans where I write and opine about good and bad products, customer service, media, society & culture etc. and reader participation is encouraged! My inaugural post is up so pop by and take a look if you have a sec.

Thanks to everyone for sharing your your time management issues and tips. It really does feel good to know I’m not alone. I’ve been writing a list every day and keeping it where I can see it. Crossing things off is very satisfying so I’ve been pretty motivated the past couple days. It probably won’t last but for now, it’s working well ;)

Time for Change

Ever since I came home from attending a blogging conference where I partied like a rockstar with tons of amazing women and a great guy learned many valuable, useful and important things about blogging and got my photo taken with the always impressive Arianna Huffington, I have been feeling kind of…blah.

I’m not sure if it’s because this event that I looked forward to for months has come to pass or what but my blah-ness has manifested itself in a number of ways that are really bothering me. Chaos seems to reign supreme around here lately. I’m turning into ADD-Mom, leaving a wake of unfinished stuff everywhere I go because I’m so easily distracted or tired from staying up so late. Things just aren’t getting done. My social committments have been faced with reluctance. I have all sorts of personal appointments (that’s code for PAP smear, dental cleaning etc.) I need to make and go to but somehow, I just can’t find it within myself to care about any of it. I’ve come to the conclusion that this kind of thing feeds on itself and that I really need to do something.

So…today is the day. It’s just baby steps but I am going to do every item on my crap-I-HAVE-to-do list, I’m not going to get sucked into time-wasting activities online (much), I’m going to do my design work tonight but quit at a reasonable hour, I’m also going to give myself some down time (I can’t remember the last time I watched TV or read a book at night) and finally, I am going to bed early, which for me would be no later than 1:30am.

You might have noticed that I don’t even discuss cooking or cleaning. I can’t bear to. I loathe cooking dinner SO much lately that I get itchy just thinking about it. And cleaning? Hmmph. If I can just address the clutter created daily by my children, I would consider myself successful.

This is really more of a recipe for getting my life back on track. Staying up way too late (is 3am late?) and then having to nap every morning to make up for it, not having any down time and wasting a lot of time online (not including reading blogs, of course) are three things that need to change for good. I just realized that time management seems to be the common thread here. Why doesn’t that surprise me?

So, friends and passersby, please tell me…do you have issues with time management? Do you find all your time getting sucked down the proverbial rabbit hole? How do you deal with it?

Because They Ask the Tough Questions…

Please don’t make fun of me for blushing uncontrollably when I tell you that my post for today can be found over at Mommybloggers. They were so kind and flattered me deeply by asking me to do a probing, hard-hitting interview and be their Friday guest blogger.

And so they don’t think they made a horrible error in judgment, would you please stop over there and read my post? It’s a funny piece on something terribly embarrassing that happened to me a long time ago. If nothing else, you’ll have a good laugh at my expense.

And for Gods sake…don’t make me look like a friendless loser. Leave me some comment crack over there when you’re done :)

I Heart Average

As I recently mentioned, my newly minted six year old daughter just started attending kindergarten at a local public school. Though it’s a top-rated school that has received as many academic accolades, awards and high scores as the more coveted public schools in the area, people are not clamoring to get into this one, which made me suspicious.

Why is this school not filled to capacity? What does everyone else know that I don’t?

After doing some checking, I think I have found the culprit.

The children who attend this school come from average families *audible gasp*.

To understand the significance of this, you must understand that I live in an area that has, in a mere decade or so, become the enclave of the very upwardly mobile. People here are extremely class-conscious to the point of absurdity. As I poked fun at in this post, trophy wives abound and were the dominant species of mom at my daughter’s former preschool.

Around here, they don’t seem particularly concerned with embracing diversity and certainly not of the socio-economic variety. That said, it seems our elementary school does, in fact, falls into the undesirable category of ’socio-economically diverse’. In plain English, that means that there are kids from a variety of income brackets.

I can only surmise that this is just too disturbing for the masses of uber moms and their husbands-of-superior-earning-potential. God forbid their children sit next to someone with TWO working parents *gasp* or eat lunch with a child that lives in an APARTMENT!

Of course, I’m exaggerating for effect but I think you get the point. Our little neighborhood school, though in the heart of a fancy-schmancy zip code, is frowned upon by the upper crust because the children that attend it are predominantly not affluent.

And me? Well, it’s only the 5th day of school but so far I am very happy with this particular aspect of the school. For years now I have been wondering where all the normal people are and it seems I’ve found them. While there is the occasional luxury automobile in the pick-up line, most people drive regular cars, SUV’s and minivans.

The women don’t show up to school in the morning in their tennis whites or fancy designer gym duds and not a highlighted hair out of place. No sirrrreeee. These woman are refreshingly normal. They’re like me.

And do you think you would EVER see a muffin top among the trophy wives set? Perish the thought! It’s in the pre-nup, babe… NO GRAY HAIR! NO BABY WEIGHT! NO MUFFIN TOPS!

But at this school, instead of store mannequins, the mothers look like women, with curves and bellies and butts and and yes, even a few muffin tops.

Do they push $500 strollers as they totter past in their Lilly Pulitzer kitten heels at 7:40am? Not likely.

Do the dads sport stiff suits, a Bluetooth in their ear and a Blackberry welded to their palm? Mmm. Maybe a couple. But thankfully, some of the fathers are what one might call “cool dads”. And for once, the ubiquitous foreign nannies are noticeably absent.

These are MY PEOPLE and I am thrilled to walk among them and bask in our collective average-ness (or if you prefer…real-ness, normal-ness or regular-ness)

And in case you’re wondering, my daughter is also enjoying her new school. She already has a best bud and her teacher is young and kind and idealistic and full of enthusiasm.