I Heart Average
As I recently mentioned, my newly minted six year old daughter just started attending kindergarten at a local public school. Though it’s a top-rated school that has received as many academic accolades, awards and high scores as the more coveted public schools in the area, people are not clamoring to get into this one, which made me suspicious.
Why is this school not filled to capacity? What does everyone else know that I don’t?
After doing some checking, I think I have found the culprit.
The children who attend this school come from average families *audible gasp*.
To understand the significance of this, you must understand that I live in an area that has, in a mere decade or so, become the enclave of the very upwardly mobile. People here are extremely class-conscious to the point of absurdity. As I poked fun at in this post, trophy wives abound and were the dominant species of mom at my daughter’s former preschool.
Around here, they don’t seem particularly concerned with embracing diversity and certainly not of the socio-economic variety. That said, it seems our elementary school does, in fact, falls into the undesirable category of ’socio-economically diverse’. In plain English, that means that there are kids from a variety of income brackets.
I can only surmise that this is just too disturbing for the masses of uber moms and their husbands-of-superior-earning-potential. God forbid their children sit next to someone with TWO working parents *gasp* or eat lunch with a child that lives in an APARTMENT!
Of course, I’m exaggerating for effect but I think you get the point. Our little neighborhood school, though in the heart of a fancy-schmancy zip code, is frowned upon by the upper crust because the children that attend it are predominantly not affluent.
And me? Well, it’s only the 5th day of school but so far I am very happy with this particular aspect of the school. For years now I have been wondering where all the normal people are and it seems I’ve found them. While there is the occasional luxury automobile in the pick-up line, most people drive regular cars, SUV’s and minivans.
The women don’t show up to school in the morning in their tennis whites or fancy designer gym duds and not a highlighted hair out of place. No sirrrreeee. These woman are refreshingly normal. They’re like me.
And do you think you would EVER see a muffin top among the trophy wives set? Perish the thought! It’s in the pre-nup, babe… NO GRAY HAIR! NO BABY WEIGHT! NO MUFFIN TOPS!
But at this school, instead of store mannequins, the mothers look like women, with curves and bellies and butts and and yes, even a few muffin tops.
Do they push $500 strollers as they totter past in their Lilly Pulitzer kitten heels at 7:40am? Not likely.
Do the dads sport stiff suits, a Bluetooth in their ear and a Blackberry welded to their palm? Mmm. Maybe a couple. But thankfully, some of the fathers are what one might call “cool dads”. And for once, the ubiquitous foreign nannies are noticeably absent.
These are MY PEOPLE and I am thrilled to walk among them and bask in our collective average-ness (or if you prefer…real-ness, normal-ness or regular-ness)
And in case you’re wondering, my daughter is also enjoying her new school. She already has a best bud and her teacher is young and kind and idealistic and full of enthusiasm.
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It’s nice your child is attending a “normal” school. Hopefully, she’ll have some “normal” friends. I have a colleague whose daughter has befriended a very wealthy playmate (who is very grounded and sweet). That socio-economic dynamic threw her off at first…a few insecurities of how that playmates parents would judge them - whether it’s the clothes they wear or the car they drive or where they live. Then, she just got over it - who cares what they think about her!
You found a MomBot-free zone??
I am so friggin’ jealous!
I’m still looking for the average people - so far I’ve found trailer trash and Chanel-sunglass-wearing-Gucci-toting-MomBots. I CRAVE average!
Again, so jealous. So jealous.
I totally relate. I live in a snotty area too. Hey, I just visited your other website. Congratulations on you for starting to charge for your work!!! You deserve it!
OMG. You must live in my neighborhood. We are in the exact same situation. And I also completely heart average more and more everyday. Yay for normal schools! Where the kids are as varied as the 64 box crayolas. The. Best.
Sign me up! I have a 3 year old and within 5 minutes of meeting any mom where I live, I get the eternal question “So what preschool does your child go to?” I say that I am a stay at home mom who plans on putting my child in preschool later in the year and I get the look - you know the one - where they look at you with pity, and in their mind they are thinking “that poor woman, she is so below average”. UGH. Drives me insane. I am NOT looking forward to going to the school that he is in the district of - rich rich rich!! But I am so NOT NOT NOT!! LOL
Ohhhh, you are so lucky (and so is TQ). Our local elementary is populated by children of uber moms.
But! We have open enrollment. I’ve already conspired with the mother of Tacy’s best bud from day care, who lives in a more “average” neighborhood nearby, to get both girls into Kindergarten together next year. Fingers crossed that I’ll have at least one “average” family with whom to hang out during Open House!
I think average is great - and hard to find these days.
Given that my family size is above average, my age is below average and my ass is decidedly above average too, I love that my kids go to an average school!
Rock on to your blissfully average Kindergartener!
And doesn’t it make it the tiniest bit easier to drop her off knowing that she’s in school with “average” people and a great teacher? Rather than being shunned for not having the coolest stuff or being indoctrinated into the “better than you are” culture at the other school?
I’ve got my daughter in an average school for our area too and am delighted. Average rocks!
Your ‘hood sounds a lot like mine. Well, the way it use to be a few years ago before house prices tripled. Now we’re getting more of the ’stiff-butt’ crowd. But they send their kids to the private schools.
You couldn’t PAY me to send my daughter to a private or ‘upper class’ sort of school.
Call me crazy but I’d like her to grow up normal, unpretentious and well adjusted. LOL.
ah! so nice! i always find myself amazed and staring at the women who take their kids to school with perfectly made up faces and hair, and $500 work out suits and tennis shoes (as if i would even know what those look like, but i’m assuming)… i always think, we have NOTHING in common. you know? i’m SO happy you have found people that are normal. lol.. i hope you become friends with some of them and find that you have lots in common and genuinely enjoy eachother’s company.. and not just for the kids- but for you
I would love to send Q to the same school district that I attended, 3000 miles and 25 years ago. That being impossible, can he go to school with your daughter? ;)
Average rocks. My kids go to an average school.
Now, my oldest is going to a hoity toity high school this year, and I am not AT ALL comfortable with it.
Can I hang with you?
My brother went to a rich high school and had no friends. I went to an “average” high school and had tons of friends. I always felt bad for him that my parents suddenly “got rich” and had to send him to better places than I went to. Average rocks! I’m so happy for you!
Hey! You must live in my neck of the woods. Or maybe Metro Altanta is becoming the East Coast LA? I’ve never seen anything like it. I mean, you can’t escape classism, but they have taken it to a whole new level here. We’re average too. Average house, nondescript vehicles, and GASP, off the rack clothing. I’d rather spend what little extra we have on travel and experiencing life.
One Mom I know, who has an absolutely incredible 5200 sq ft. house and a brand spaking new Navigator confided to me that they have no money to do anything. What’s the point????
Sounds like my neighbourhood. That’s a good thing.
The school sounds awesome. My brother and SIL always took great pride in sending their kids to a fabulous public school in their wealthy Chicago suburb (bragging that they pay such high property taxes, that they should have a better school than everyone else). They even seemed to love it in high school, when their daughter demanded a breast reduction, developed an eating disorder, and both kids demanded GOOD cars of their own because everyone else had them. My SIL also made occasional remarks about never letting her kids play with someone whose family lived in an apartment.
I am happy to send my child to an average school, where he can make friends that aren’t pre-screened for a certain income level.
In the end your daughter is going to have a way better experience without the competimommy spawn, the competikiddies, around her. I used to have fights on message boards where people would put down a public school system because it was n’t in the US top 50. WTF? Like 51 can’t be a good school? Or 151?
I’d love you to be in my school system, average or not. We could bake rice krispy treats together for bake sales wearing pasties.
Sounds wonderful. You might even *gasp* make a friend!
I prefer the term “real” over “average.” The braindead social climbers contain absolutely no substance. Who the hell would want to hang out with them, aside from other braindeadies? Very cool that you found a great school like that, where your little one can grow up with a sense of what’s real and what truly has value.
just to add to my list of reasons to worship you from afar; this topic is one that I’ve been mulling over a lot, these days, and I haven’t been able to summarize it at all adequately enough to write about, let alone think clearly on. i really feel like it’s time to speak loudly and proudly of my working-class roots; i’m not ashamed. why should i be?
i hate classism. average RULES!
Yay to finding the normal people! I’d be the parent looking for that school to avoid the plastic people.
Oh, good - the place will be WAY more sane, less competitive, and events can be organized without the quenn-bee snobbism you might be used to. Thank goodness your child will go to school with normal kids who aren’t wrapped in the craziness until it gets to them too.
I love the normal people too. I find it weird that my neighbourhood, where I grew up before it was discovered, is going yuppie too, Bugaboos now being the norm.
so average is, what? not being insanely rich? que viva los averages. que viva we of jacked up, old cars with the fender falling off. down with the plastic mommies driving the hummer to pick up a 5 year old from school….
You know, Izzy, I feel exactly the same way, and it’s nice to see so many commenters here do too. (Although I am a little surprised, since I saw a post about schools awhile back and everybody was slamming public schools there. Maybe it was a different blog.) Anyway, my kids are going to the local elementary school, the end. Glad you’ve found a place that you can feel comfortable!
Ignorant Male Alert!!
What is a muffin top???
Yay! Average folk rejoice :) But I must add that my local high school was rife with whitebread snotbags. And then I went to a top rated boarding school…..and was all of a sudden among the most ethnically diverse and down to earth people in the world! It’s all a case of presumptuous parents breeding presumptuous children, I think. Anyway, glad you’re liking the school!
Dennis, ha! A muffin top is that roll of fat around the top of a woman’s low-rise, too-tight jeans.
I can’t believe you have a kindergartener! You look no older than high school age yourself!
When we were looking for a house, there were two neighborhoods that we looked at. In one, the homes were old and beautiful and the school was top-rated. It was the pretentious neighborhood and it felt like it. In it, we felt out of place. The other neighborhood–the one we ultimately chose–had a school rated just as high (10 out of 10 according to California test scores) but the neighborhood was a little more working class and diverse socioeconomically. We feel comfortable here and it’s a good feeling. I can’t wait until my daughter starts school; I imagine my experience will be much like yours.
Meanwhile, over at the elementary school in the prestigous neighborhood, it’s all about drama and what you wear and pretentiousness of all varieties. Yuck.
So happy for you! Sorry I hijacked your comments section!
I’m so happy for you b/c I would feel so out of place with all those uber mommy and their nannies too. I would hate to deal with all those snotty people.
Sounds like “average” is outstanding! Congrats on finding a good school.
Lisa
Good for you, Izzy! My daughter will be going to the public school down the road from us and not shipped off to the “elite” school across town.
What’s an even better boost to your vanity is going to a low-income school. I taught 2 years at a school on the southside of San Antonio. You look like a freakin’ movie star when moms are showing up without bras and curlers in their hair. Toothless smiles, barefoot children and dad’s carrying their beers into the schools makes your middle class khaki wearing self look glamorous.
Sounds perfect. Mom-101, for the record, you don’t actually “bake” rice krispie squares…;)
I love the average schools. They have happy, motivated teachers and even better happy kids.
Isn’t it funny how you don’t even realize you are being judged until one day the circumstances change and you suddenly feel *gasp* comfortable again?
Glad you’re loving the school - most importantly.
Yeay! WE moved out of a town like that into where we are now. And it has been so great to see NORMAL women out and about. Women who drop their child off wearing a ponytail and yoga pants. Kids wearing Target clothes!
that sounds like the perfect school.
My kids attend an “average” school, and we are thrilled. I mean, there are a few parents who drive two blocks from their McMansion to drop off their kids in their Hummer, but they at least look sheepish about it. Heh.
Me? I drop the kids off looking like I just walked a mile in my yoga pants (because I do ;p)
I am thrilled for you. I’d take a muffin top over tennis whites ANY day.
good for you! That sounds like a perfect school for you and your family!!!!
I just moved away from a place where the women are just as you described. My son is staring a new school here, that is in a more diverse area, and I couldn’t be happier about it. Glad you made a great choice for your daughter.
Our elementary school was pretty “Wonder Bread and Mayonnaise”…mostly white. There were a few parents who lacked a college educationa and those folks could only assimiliate JUST SO FAR. Academically speaking, it was a good school. Socially, it was a slice of the country club-set/private-school bound/Jaguar-driving set. In short…not anything resembling the real world. Once it was time for middle-school, many parents took their kids on to private school. It’s not an option for us, but even if it was we wouldn’t take that option. My kids have met and made friends with many, many different kinds of other kids whose families are not exactly like ours. Are the public schools in trouble? Yes…they are, but one of the things they offer is a view of the “real world” that can’t be replicated by artificially sanitizing the classrooms of ethnic diversity and cultural plurality. I’m glad you’ve chosen diversity.
Muffin Tops….wow. That is something else. Almost spit out my coffee.
And yes-normal is hard to find these days. I have always stood out and sometimes ‘looked down upon’ for my ideas because they weren’t ‘normal’. Who’s to say what is normal anyway?
That sounds amazing. A place to hide from the trophy wives and meet real people.
My girls are going to a school that sounds very similar to where your little one is going. And as well, I am very lucky to live in a really freakin’ beautiful part of tow. THANKFULLY, and being from a total arts background, I am relieved to have found a generous number of very real, funny irreverant mums with whom I feel comfortable.
That being said, although I love my house more than I should, although I love the park nearby, there is a homogeneity to my hood that is making me chafe.
I hope your little one is loving the JK experience, they grow up so much in their first year. My little one is in SK come September, and my older girl will be Grade 4 (how the hell did that happen!).
Anne
You crack me up!
Stiff-butt…rofl
I so wish you would…
Duuuude! I’m pushin’ the big 4-0 next year! But bless you, my good and kind woman, for saying that :)
I made some good friends at my son’s private school last year, they were sweet, down to earth gals and I thought it was nice in the midst of all the MomBots with their rhinestoned thongs peeking out over their designer jeans to have made a few real friends. Then I found out they were the nannies, and they thought I was one too….*sigh* If our public school wasn’t so overcrowded this year I would have sent him to K there, but they are in portables and they have 10 K classes- 12 month school. No thanks. There are actually some cool moms at his school- we are a small group but we are fierce and we stick together.
I’ve worked in affluent schools, middle class schools, and poor schools. For what it’s worth, my own job satisfaction comes from the poor schools because they need a lot and I have a lot to give.
But you’re making me long for the average again. Just to be with my people. I’ll be honest, when we found Our People in our friends a few years ago, there was a great burden lifted. We felt normal. NORMAL is good. AVERAGE is good.
So, ummm… gonna send me a job application or what?
I love, love, love this post!
Real people ROCK!
BJ starts next week and I can’t wait. Normal people rule!!!!
Well I am just over the moon thrilled for you and TQ! You know that I live in that same school’s district. Girlie goes to Montessori and we like it so much we’re keeping her there until sixth grade but I’m glad to know that should she finally pull a stunt that gets her kicked out, our fallback is as excellent as you say!
That is great! I can not stand being around those trophies that look good at 8 am. That type person gets on my nerves big time. Have you ever noticed that they whine when they talk….or at least they do here. ;)
Should we make up bumper stickers? I ‘heart’ average sounds like something I’d slap on the back of my car.
Your daughter’s school sounds wonderful to me.
What great news! I’m so glad you’ve found a wonderful school for your daughter, and average people to hang out with while you’re there.
Ok, so I had this comment all ready in my head, but then I made the mistake of actually reading the other comments and um, I think you said you’re going to be turning 40? WHAT? YOU’RE LYING! LIIIIIEEEESSSSS.
There are people other than average? Maybe I live in the wrong neighborhood.
ha.
Why do they start school so freakin’ early in FLA? What are you people, trying to get ahead of the curve?
Have you seen that new show “The New Adventures of Old Christine”? It’s with Julia Louis Dreyfus, it’s actually quite funny and this post reminded me of it, because she deals with all the uber-moms at her son’s school in very interesting ways.
holy shit, iz. i’m freakin’ comment 63!
whatever.
glad you found the normal people. it’s good to be amongst the real, isn’t it?
*breath in, breath out*
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Yay for a good school and normal peeps. I would imagine being in a “normal” school district would be a lot less distracting for a kid.
Also, this post made me feel so much better about how nutso I tend to look when I pick Hugo up from daycare on the days that I work from home and am not in my business casual clothes.
I really have little more to add at this point, other than to say hooray for a normal school with normal kids and parents! That’s the type of school I want my daughter to go to.
Wow. This post totally hit a nerve with me. We live in very similar communities. I was just debating about “petitioning” for the “other” school when my husband and I did some research of our own and found that our school is just fine. Diverse and wonderful. We’re currently at a preschool that was frowned upon by those Moms. And after a few years of their ultra expensive, ultra strict preschools, they have all come running to my little, happy preschool. Guess what? Get in line, suckers. You were too snobby to come here first, now you must wait.
If I make it out of my pajamas to get my daughter to school in a few weeks, I’ll be completely amazed. At orientation there were some decked out mama’s and I know they won’t be buds of mine. I am really hoping for some normal people at my daughter’s school.
What’s up with muffin tops anyway? I don’t care if you’re average or not, how can anyone look in the mirror and think that looks good!?@!
By the way, thanks for the Birth Stories link!
Oh - how you and I could share stories!!
Muffin tops - that is GREAT! LOLOLOL I always thought of mushrooms, but muffin tops are even better!
Hailey goes to a swanky school (she’s not old enough for public school so I don’t feel too bad about it.) The thing I do feel bad about though is that we live on the wrong side of the tracks compared to all the other parents I know there. There’s an invisible dividing line in the center of town and we’re under it. When I invite people over for playdates they give me a look of fear.
It sucks to work so hard for your child and then still feel like you aren’t good enough.
Good for you! Our neighborhood elementary school sounds very similar, and I couldn’t be happier.
Hey. Great post at Mommybloggers…congrats! Just found you and already, I adore you. I feel you with the ‘class system’ you live with too. I just signed my daughter up for ‘pre-school’ and it just seemed waaay too easy to get in. (ya know). We are an ‘average’ family who just moved into a mixture of ‘nuts, flakes and fruits’ ourselves. But we couldn’t be any more happier…
We have a few more weeks to go, but the neighborhood seems …normal. No stick thin women with big fake lips….
And does this mean (gasp) you’re a Mommyblogger? My Stars and Garters…
“Average” can be so refreshing.
Isn’t average great? Good for you and your daughter.
I’m about to start my kids in school in CA again…which means a return to the perfectly dressed, uber moms…and nannies. I took my son to school in my pj’s quite a few times this past year. They are going to love me.
BTW…private school doesn’t automatically = snob. My son has always been in private school because his sensory integration disorder demands small class and school size. We scrape up the money every year to do what is best for him.
I live in a fairly affluent area of L.A. Our neighborhood school sits on a street of million dollar homes. It also is adjacent to a ‘non-affluent’ area, which may account for the fact that we are one of only around six neigborhoold famlies that send their children to this school, despite the fact that it has some of the highest test scores in the area. How sad is that?
I had a talk with the principal last year, expressing my frustration with the lack of neighborhood support of the school, and his answer was frank and to the point, “Nobody in this area wants to send their kids to school with brown-skinned children.” It made me want to cry.
Even, sadder, the parents that I’ve questioned who have gone elsewhere never even took the time to set foot on the school grounds or meet with the principal or a single teacher. My attitude now? We’re better off without them.
Good LAWD is it even worth commenting when someone has this many comments? (I apologize I couldn’t read them all…). I only wanted to say that this is precisely why I still shop at places like Wal-Mart. I know, I know, they’re ick and their work policies need to change, and I am vocal about their need to change that, but seriously, if I have to suffer another disgustingly richy-rich neohippie at Wild Oats, I will scream. I prefer to buy my organic groceries at a place where even working-class people can afford them.
Sounds like a great school to me! It also sounds like it will be really, really helpful in emphasizing your own solid values to your daughter, since it’s so easy for kids to get sucked into the whole materialistic subculture. I went to a high school where everyone was money-conscious and competitive and sucky, and I hated it. I think that if I had gone to a different high school, I would have been far less miserable living where I lived, because it wouldn’t have affected me as much.