It feels kinda good!
I was tagged by Blackbelt Mama (or maybe it was her sassy alter-ego, Blackbelt Bitch???) for this 20 Things I Hate meme. I allowed my own bitchy alter-ego to come out a little and I have to admit, it felt kind of good to think of things you hate without worrying about whether you’re being all negative and unpleasant.
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Here’s my list, in no particular order:
1. Litterbugs – The world is NOT your trashcan, you lazy, selfish, festering boil on the ass of society.
2. Bass/stereos so loud that other people have to feel/hear your music, which, I might add, ALWAYS SUCKS ASS. How come people with GOOD taste in music never do that?
3. Bad manners, rudeness etc. (see these posts for specifics)
4. People who just casually let their dogs crap anywhere, including right on the sidewalk, and make no attempt whatsoever to remove it, which also happens to be THE LAW, assholes. Additionally, my yard, THAT MY KIDS AND I WALK AROUND ON, is not a toilet for your dog. How would you like it if I came to your house and just shit in the middle of your living room? Even if I scooped it up with a bag, it would still be pretty fucking gross, no?
5. People that you only hear from when they need something.
6. Passive-aggressive clerks. Yes, I know your job sucks but pretending I’m not standing here while you pick your hangnails or pretend to be engrossed in some other aspect of your job is not going to make it any better.
7. In a similar vein, I hate when the garbageman throws the lid to my can on top of my flowers. I mean really…that’s just a shitty thing to do.
8. People who have complained to me about the same self-created problems for years and never do a thing to change them. Um, stop wasting my time.
9. The “profits at any cost” corporate mentality.
10. Those stupid black W…the President stickers. They’re so ominous and creepy looking. They remind me of Darth Vader. Plus, isn’t it getting a little embarrassing to have one of those on your car? I think this is a much better choice.
11. Hypocrisy. I hate hypocrites. Any questions?
12. People who leave their dogs outside 24-7. Not only is this mean and inhumane (why do you even have pets???) but they also tend to bark constantly and annoy the ever-loving hell out of me which then makes me hate the dogs as much as I hate their ignorant, selfish owners.
13. When people say “nucyaler” instead of “nuclear.” Not only is it incorrect but it sounds really dumb, too.
14. Twenty excruciating minutes of trailers before a children’s movie, especially when the trailers are wholly inappropriate for the age of the kids there for the movie. Hollywood? I’m kinda starting to HATE you. Oh, and add to that children’s movies where the characters SCREAM through the entire thing. Hello? Ever heard of that thing…you know, TALKING? If you ever want me to bring my kids to a movie again, you’ll stop with all the screaming characters. It gets on my last. Mother. Fucking. Nerve.
15. Negative, naysayer types that crap all over everything. Go away from me. You suck all the fun out of life. (Those of us doing this meme are excluded, of course)
16. Living in one of the few countries of the world that doesn’t give paid maternity/paternity leave to working parents.
17. Big, giant, ostentatious SUV’s driven by some lady and her ONE child. Hello? Is a Hummer REALLY necessary to drop your child off at school and run to the market a few times a week? Or do you have some 4-wheel drive needs that you attend to regularly that would justify your driving such a ginormous resource and road-hogging vehicle?
18. Weird, crunchy things like pickles, relish, onions, celery etc. in any kind salad (chicken, potato, macaroni, tuna etc) I know a lot of people like that stuff but it seriously grosses me out.
19. I really hate that Gerber is starting to package organic baby food in plastic containers that leach chemicals into food. Hello? It’s oxymoronic and pretty much defeats the purpose of buying chemical-free food. Thanks a lot, asshats.
20. Paying an insane, obscene amount of money for health insurance while the CEOS of such companies get record-high bonus’ in the area of TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS a year. That’s a REAL figure, folks.
I’m tagging Dawn for this meme and anyone else who wants to be tagged for it. Just sign my name to it and say that I tagged you :)
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Asshats. Love it! That is my new word for the day.
Thank you!
I’m really going to start charging you rent for living in my head. Damn! Outstanding list! Especially numbers 5,8,13,17 and 19. Trust me, when thye revolution comes, these items and people are the first to be eliminated …
As you can imagine - those stickers are everywhere down here. UGH. And yeah, I’m not so much for the weird crunchy things - however, I don’t mind pickles in things…
Thank you so much Izzy!! Going to get started now.
I got tagged to do this and haven’t had a chance to think about it yet. I think mine are going to be very similar to yours though! Oh, and yes, I really am going to be on Miami Ink. I will go to Miami to film in either August or September and then they will let me know when it will air after that….I’m thinking maybe not until December or so.
Ditto to all of it, but esp. #8. No energy for it before Baby, SO no energy for it after Baby. Tards.
Loved your list, Izzy. I especially agree with the one about self created problems that people do nothing to change….and with all the dog crap stuff…you sound like Mrs Chicky! :)
Izzy, you are right on as usual. I can’t believe I forgot booming bass cars on my list…wait, I only did ten!
I had a housemate who was quite literally #5 all the time. Yes, hello, Dawn from Arizona - I’m talking about YOU. You never said word one to me unless you needed something and then you would make the most extreme requests like I was suddenly your friend.
Guess what, girl - our “friendship” ended on those days that we were having cleaning day and you decided you just “couldn’t deal” with it and went bike riding instead. Sheesh.
I’m glad my cat peed on your stuff. He was a good judge of character, because you’ll notice he never marked anyone else.
Izzy, thanks for the opportunity. I appreciate it.
The dog poop, oh the dog poop. I did a little dance when I found out that one of my neighbors took her dog with her when she moved back east to care for her sick mother. I’m sad for the mother, but the dog - my neighbor routinely let it out to crap wherever it wanted to, which was usually my flower beds. When I’d tell her “your dog pooped on my flowers again” she always apologized, but how sorry could she have been if she KEPT LETTING THE DOG OUT?
Hi there, noticed you linked to my stickers. I’d love to know where you came across them. I’d be glad to send you one in thanks, if you provide your address in reply. Thanks!
That one thing with the Hummer woman and her one kid? THat drives me crazy too. I wanted to add it to my HATE list but didn’t as I was too wordy. This was a great list.
And we have a neighbor who lets their dog run lose all of the time. And it is always pooping in our yard. Grrr.
well, ya pretty much nailed it for me. I don’t think I need to this meme, now. holy chee-rist.
especially number nine. geez. I get angry about that on an hourly basis.
“Living in one of the few countries of the world that doesn’t give paid maternity/paternity leave to working parents.”
Amen to this one, sista. AMEN! Why are we the richest country in the world and yet still can’t do this?
P.S. I just did this meme today too. Small bloggerworld it is!
If everyone in blog world got on every one of their neighbors about dog poop this world would be a better place. It certainly would be safer to walk around barefoot.
Great list!
Okay, but if you don’t like crunchy things in your salads, what *do* you like in them? The crunchy part is the best! ;)
I’ve (thankfully) never seen those stickers before, but I definitely preferred the second one. John? Which ones do you create?
Amen on all the dog ones. Thanks for playing Izzy!
Damn, that’s a great point about Gerber organics. That is depressing.
Lisa
Yay someone else who hates SUVs!
Some jerkoff in my old neighborhood used to stand at the end of the block, holding the leash for his dog, watching his dog shit. Then he’d walk away. Not only was he making that entire corner of sidewalk a minefield of digusting, smelly filth, he wasn’t even WALKING his freaking DOG.
GRRRRRRrrrrrr.
I am pleased to say I have never seen one of those stickers. One good thing about living in a very blue city? But I do love your alt suggestion!
And yes I hate those salesclerks. I call them “too sexy for their jobs.” Especially in fancy stores. It’s like, hun, you may be working at Tiffany but, um, you couldn’t afford to buy this stuff yourself.
Right on! Although I do drive an SUV, we have four kids (between us both) so its about room for us.In my list I would then have to add I hate it when people assume I love trashing the environment just because I drive a Suburban and then double assume I made all our kids by myself! (Can you tell I have guilt issues?) *sigh* At least I don’t have a W sticker- those must not have made it to the West yet (thankfully) I just see the W 04 all over. We have one that says *W*tf?
Number 5 - YES!!! I hate when so-called friends phone to say they need this or that and want something in return. I just spit in their faces.
Number 18 - Okay you wouldn’t like my fridge. What about potato chips?
I’m with you on so many of these, but particularly the salad thing. My husband adds everything but the kitchen sink to his salad (pickles, olives, etc.) and it completely grosses me out. I like my salads with just basic veggies, thank you very much.
Oh good for you Izzy. I like this alter ego of yours :)
I so hate garbage man that throw the lid (or the can) in my garden! And Hummers…don’t even get me started on hummers. But basically I am with you on every single one.
Awesome! I’m with you on all of that girl!
#15. The world has too many negos. They should all be rounded up and summarily shot.
Thanks for the much-needed slice of humor. You have no idea how cathartic it was to read this.
About the boring clerk- it reminds me of these lyrics:
maybe you don’t like your job
maybe you didn’t get enough sleep
well, nobody likes their job
nobody got enough sleep
maybe you just had
the worst day of your life
but, you know, there’s no escape
and there’s no excuse
so just suck up and be nice
yeah, i would like to perfect the art
of being studiously aloof
like life is just a boring chore
and i am living proof…
Great list.
i loved reading your list, izzy.
Izzy, I can not get enough of your sarcastic, sharp sense of humor. You friggin rock. Pooping on the living room floor, classic.
Yeah, big cars with minimal people bug me, too. My own mother has an SUV and her kids are grown. It drives me bonkers.
Great list!
ok the movie thing.. did you SEE Cars? They had a preview, a SCARY one, about a house that eats everything that comes into the yard! It did not go over very well with my 4 and 2 1/2 yr old
OOhhh 9 and 10 are my favs. I might buy one of those stickers!
Asshats? Dude, I love that word. :0)
I am sooooooooo with you on #14. Not only that but sometimes, IMO, they show previews that are NOT appropriate for kids. Like last summer I remember seeing a trailer for “War of the Worlds” at some kids movie I had taken my step-daughter to. It totally freaked her out. Duh.
So many of yours are things I hate as well. Although I’ve yet to be subjected to the idiotic W bumper stickers. I saw a good one yesterday though. It said “I love my country! …. It’s my government I’m afraid of.”
Hope your 4th was nice :)
Izzy, I love you! (In a completely platonic blog-way. :-) I have been steaming over our new neighbor’s dog shitting in our yard since they moved in. And the rest of your list–absolutely. I am 100% in agreement. :)
Ack! Those darn stickers are all over the carpool line at my kids’ school… as you can imagine I was practically tarred and feathered when I wore my “KERRY” t-shirt to the Parent Guild mtg…
I can’t do this one because because I’d have to copy yours
#2 - oh god. How could I have forgotten. There aren’t many sounds that make me want to crawl right out of my skin, but thumping bass is one of them.
#4 - yes. Thank you for the analogy that put it perfectly in perspective. I wish everyone thought of it that way.
So apparently you are my long-lost twin, ’cause I surely could’ve written this list myself (except that one about crunchy stuff in salads, mmmm–just a slight genetic variance, there!).
I got tagged for this same meme, and I was already thinking I would have trouble keeping my list to 20, grouchy thang that I am. Now, after reading your list, mine just shot up to 40.
I saw a bumper sticker recently, ‘Cheny/Satan 08.’ I’m ordering a truckload.
What a great meme!
I had no idea about the plastic-packaged baby food. What are they thinking???
I remember seeing some signs in New York a few years ago that said something like, “If you don’t clean up after your dog, then you don’t deserve to own one.” I thought that was right on target.
Asshats! I love that too. I’ll add it to my vocabulary ASAP.
It’s great to bitch freely. Aint it?
I suspect your list could be getting longer. It’s a mad world.
Love your lingo. We have more of those than we need as well, I mean those “ginormous resource and road-hogging vehicles”.
Great list. For the most cases I have the same opinion.