Has Anyone Seen My Ball-Gag?
Almost every day, I go out into the world and encounter rude people. And every time I think to myself “You assbite. I’m gonna blog about you” and then I forget about it and never see my plan to fruition.
Until now. Tonight, as I was brushing my teeth, which is when I do all my deep thinking lately, I replayed one of my many encounters with the rude and ill-mannered and decided I WILL blog about my pet peeves in the rudeness arena, if only to vent…
Here are my top four five, in no particular order, as I deem all of them to be equally unbearable:
1. People who cannot manage a wave of thanks when I have let them in front of me in traffic. I have endured the ire of people behind me so that I could let your ingrate ass go when you would have otherwise have been sitting there for God knows how long. How hard is it to wave in acknowledgement?
2. People who do not RSVP. Honestly….how fricken hard is it to pick up a phone and say yes or no? Next time, if you don’t RSVP by the requested date, consider yourself uninvited. Like the song.
3. People who consistently don’t say “please or “thank you.” These two phrases are the cornerstones of a civilized society. Did their mothers actually forget to teach them the importance of them? Or are they just too rude and self-involved to remember to use them?
4. People who repeatedly interrupt when others are speaking. We all do it occcasionally and I know sometimes it’s hard to contain one’s thoughts until the other person is finished talking, particularly for children, but adults who chronically interrupt others need to be friggin’ ball-gagged. Seriously.
5. People who don’t acknowledge you when you hold the door for them, as if you’re their personal doorman or something. I bet they’d have plenty to say if I let it close in their face! (I had to add this one after Mom-101 commented and reminded me of how much it pisses me off)
Is it just me? Or is politeness too much to expect from people anymore?
This is just the tip of the rudeness iceberg. Feel free to add your own!
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I could have written that. Your top four is my top four. I cannot stand rude people. You just want to smack their parents :)
yes yes YES (although I admit to being a bit of an interrupter at times, particularly after a couple glasses of pinot noir). I’d like to add to the list: throngs of people who stream through a door that you’re holding open for them, without even acknowledging it. Um, the doorman? Yeah, that’s not me.
That is so true. I also can’t stand it when a group of teenagers are walking down the street together and are taking up the whole sidewalk. They don’t move to let you through, and most times I wind up having to walk on the road to get around them.
Yes! I’ll admit that I am sometimes guilty of number 4, but the others are big no-nos! I’ll add parents who don’t even apologize when their kid does something horrendous, and people who zoom up and take the parking spot you’ve been waiting on, with your turn signal on.
Excellent list! You’re so right- people have lost the art of being polite. My least favorite is the less-than-thrilled employee who doesn’t say a word to you when you’re interacting. When I worked as a hostess at Denny’s I was all over the customer service. Now you’re lucky if you get a grunt from people.
The please and thank you is high up for me, as is the interrupting, though I often find myself starting to talk at the same moment as someone else and trying to figure out who goes first. And my other is people who talk down to others, treat them as inferiors. This makes me crazy, especially as my job involves public service. That doesn’t really make me your dog, honey.
ahh, I love to hear the rant of frustrations similiar to mine. Izzy go to my blog, to the post, Hate your Job? and read link. It’s a great rant that will relieve a lot of rage even if it’s about something else. love it.
The death of manners and politeness is my #1 pet peeve. What the f*ck is wrong with some people? Is it too hard to say “thank you” anymore? Drives me nuts!
FYI…there’s an entertaining book about this subject titled, “Talk to the Hand: The Utter Bloody Rudeness of the World Today, or Six Good Reasons to Stay Home and Bolt the Door.” (Same author as “Eats, Shoots, & Leaves.”)
When I first met my husband, he was a non-waver when people let him in front in traffic. Oh, it made me crazy! I guilted him into doing the wave, and I am pretty sure he even waves when I am not with him now. Your list is right on!
Great 4! Honestly at the moment one of mine is staring too long. I am a curious cat but I do not deadly stare at people (especially children) for long periods of time! Get a LIFE people it is only a bandaid over her eye!
Oh I’m sooo with you on #1, and along with that, one of my HUGE pet peeves….when people don’t say thank you where you hold the door for them. They just take the door and walk past you like…your their doorman or something. To that I ususally say out loud - “YOUR WELCOME” with a sarcastic smile. =o)
Here here. I am right there with you. Especially on the waving and please and thank you. I always, always, always do that and it pisses me off when others don’t even think of it. The RSVP thing makes me nuts. I am having a party for my son this weekend and 5 kids parents still haven’t RSVP’d I want to just call and tell them they can’t come even if they want to now. Ug.
Hmmm it looks like I needed a good rant to. Thanks :)
I’d hijack your entire blog if I started on my peeves … but I will add this:
WTF is with “uh huh” instead of “you’re welcome”? I HATE that.
I have encountered every single one on your list in a matter of hours, stuck here at the hospital. Including some of your commenter’s peeves. I am currently steaming about the cow who stole my parking space and made my daughter and me walk an extra freaking mile… I wish a pox on her. No, I take that back. Since she’s in the same place I’m stuck in, I’d probably get the damn pox too.
Don’t even get me started on rude cell phone use! My husband and I attended an opera, and a cell phone rang during a very quiet part of the performance. The owner of the phone was sitting right next to me, and she answered it!!! We were sitting in the 5th or 6th row, so the performers definitely heard and saw it. (The phone lit up our entire area in the audience.) Anyway, all I could do was give her the death stare - I was in shock - while others whispered comments and gasped. Ridiculous!
Izzy, you are great. THANK YOU. PLEASE continue to write wonderful posts.
I find myself chanting in traffic daily “The little wave! The little wave! Where oh where is my little wave?”
And I am hell on “thank you” in stores. I have actually done this: At the Jewel/Osco in Joliet Illinois, THREE people in the store (photo, liquor, and cashier) in one day did not say “thank you” when my transaction was done. So I returned $82 worth of groceries. Yep, I did too.
I will just stand there forever if the cashier does not say thank you. When they give me the “WTF??” look, I say “You need to say “thank you.” And if they don’t, I will get a refund. It is a pain in the ass but it is my small pathetic stand against this rudeness.
I am with ya there Chelle. I had a bandaid on my neck due to my compulsive scab-picking and people would ASK about it. I used “Dear Abby”s answer - “Why do you ask?” with the emphasis on WHY (the unspoken question being “Why are you a moron?”)
I have done the same thing. I am so passive aggressive that way. I will say, “Oh, no problem” as if they have said thanks.
At a funeral. Yes, they did.
I’m with you! People need to learn better manners. I’d like to add this to your list: when you’re at the grocery store and a new checkstand opens up and the checker says “I’ll take the next person in line” (and you’re all excited cuz you’re the next person) but then the LAST person in line runs over there cuz they’re the closest and then they plunk all their stuff down. I HATE that.
Nice vent. I am probably one of those adults that need ball-gagging at times. I always think I have a lot to say (thus the blog). And I don’t actually know what ball-gagging is but I like saying it. I’ll keep my mental image of it in my mind next time I’m about to cut someone off in conversation.
yes, yes , yes, yes.
…and know-it-alls who don’t and hold forth on topics that matter. and people that assume you have nothing more to do than return their calls/emails/forwardness immediatly. and people who have no children who teach you how to. and people who don’t understand depression and are derisive or religious about it…i could go on. thank you! (oh and people that i don’t know well and have invited over to get to know better and help themselves to my fridge contents…really!! )
Yeah. Seriously. Give a fucking wave if I let you in. Those are all mine - however lately, I’ve been an interrupter.
I’m working on it.
Amen to the not RSVP-ing. We are getting married in 22 days. The RSVP cards are due by tomorrow. We included self-addressed envelopes with stamps!!!! And still we have only got back a hand full!
When I saw your title I laughed out loud. I KNEW the post would be good.
My pet peeve is people who mooch off of me (like my last post talks about that) and act like they are doing ME a favor. Grrr.
Also when people tell you they’ll come to your party then don’t come. And later when you asked what happened they give you some feeble excuse like the cat puked on the carpet 6 hours before the event and they had to stay home to make sure the cat was ok.
Or they tell you to plan a Girls’ nite out. You do and they don’t show up. And they don’t tell you ahead of time. Their excuse is always something like, ‘my husband invited a bunch of guys over for poker that night and didn’t tell me until the last minute so I had to stay home, clean the house, cook and then take care of the kids instead. Grrr!
I’m there with you on this. How about bringing your toddlers, I mean 2 feet of a kid to a rated R movies and they whined/talked the whole time?!
Or how about you getting to the movies EARLY to get a good seat and someone comes in after the lights went out and ask you to move over so he & co. can sit together?!
And after we did that, they started TALKING or better yet, had an argument in the middle of the show AND when we asked them to quiet down…they gave us the “dont’ bother us B!tch!) look. WHAT?!!
Interrupter here. If I could, I would have interrupted your post, only to agree with you of course, and given my own anecdote about your pet peeves. This post reminds me I need to work on my listening skills.
People who don’t fucking use their turn signals!
Do I have ESP or fucking what? It’s the tininest flick of your fingertips for pity’s sake!!
-Blue
your list works for me. all of them. i second!
Yes to ALL FOUR of your pet peeves!!! I also have a really hard time when someone waits on me and does not even make eye contact! Or someone who talks on the phone in a public place for all to hear…
I’m abashed about commenting, ’cause I am *gulp* kinda guilty of the interrupting rudeness. It drives me batty that I do it, but I have a bit of a compulsion regarding verbal communication. sucks.
I get sorta rabidly upset in my head if I am always the one who has to finish the exchange with a customer service person - I always try to throw a “have a nice day” action out there, but it *bugs* if I’m the only one doing so on a regular basis. I mean, fine, don’t say ‘thanks’ for my purchase, but at least throw me a wink, or a nod or a grin, or something.
gosssshhhh. Idiots.
Shit. I’m going to run and RSVP for the baby shower in three weeks. Because I hate that, too, and here I am, being rude.
Thanks for this - where have manners gone? So sad. So uncivilized.
I second everything you said. And I’d like to add cashiers that don’t speak to me at all, not a single word, while they’re ringing my stuff through. Listen. I know you have a shitty job. I used to have your shitty job, and I know that you’re doing monkey work and that’s why I’m trying to make smalltalk with you — so that I’ll brighten your day a bit and make it go by a little quicker. You know? When they don’t even acknowledge that I’m standing there, living and breathing infront of them, it makes me feel like a big fuckwad.
Yes, yes, yes! And I’d like to add customer service people who don’t at least smile at you when you give them your money.
If someone doesn’t wave when I let them into traffic I ride their ass. Its pretty effective with a big SUV.
Your pet peeves are my pet peeves as well. Common courtesy.
You hit the nail on the head with ALL of them. And now I will say THANKYOU
Agreed! Anyone who doesn’t do the thank you wave in, or thank you for holding the door. If people don’t say thanks I usually say “oh, you’re welcome.”
I’d add anyone who thinks that it’s okay to flick butts out the car window. The world is not your ashtray! Butts take 14 years to decompose and are toxic. Use an ashtray!
I’m a bit of an enthusiastic kid who has a bad habit of interrupting among friends. The conversation trail can become a bit hard to follow
Never heard of the expression “ball-gagged” before, but I like it. Cell phone misuse is the most obvious infraction of civility and basic etiquette, but what about line-cutters? (Not just in cars) What about people who let their dogs poop on your lawn? (Is it still OK if they pick it up?) What about pee? These are big, ball-gagging issues in suburbia, I tell ya.
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I know the feeling. I hate not getting the wave in traffic. And I hate when my husband, who opens doors for women, ends up letting the next 10 people in because all the little asshat men just let him stand at the door while they sashay inside. Grr.
“These are big, ball-gagging issues in suburbia, I tell ya”
rofl…funny
Line cutters need to be kicked in the achilles. With very pointy shoes.
Dude..the book. I’m ON IT!
In an odd moment of internet karma, I have referred to ball-gag’s twice in the last two days.
Oh, and My PP? Men who rush out of the elevator in front of you - cause they’re important and shit. Dude. Act like a gentlemen for ONE Second.
Shall we add people pulling out just far enough while turning right that you can’t see around them so you can turn left?
Dude, that happens to my husband, too. I loathe those little asshat men.
I didn’t read every comment (rude) but every since having a baby I have a new BIG peeve: people who won’t help you with a door when you’re trying your damndest to maneuver your stroller through it. Those people that just stand or sit there and stare like “well, you decided to have the kid. Don’t look at me to help.” Assholes.
I loved this. You so rock!
Yeah people totally suck. Except for you and I. And all of our bloggity friends. But the rest of the world? SUCKAGE.
All those people? Totally on my shit list too. Good call.
Oh, OH, that first one! I ALWAYS give someone a wave if they let me into traffic ahead of them. I will roll down my window in the rain or the snow to make sure the car behind me sees me wave.
And just to warn everybody right now, I INTERRUPT PEOPLE. I’m sorry, I know, but I start talking and I get excited and I don’t let people finish their sentences. Better send that Ball-Gag pronto.
The please and thank you (and excuse me, etc.) issue is my biggest peeve. And people who hog sidewalk space.
But… am a compulsive interrupter (working on it! really!). Pot, kettle, black…
I concur. Your pet peeves are mine. Although, my new pet peeve is about people taking politeness too far. In my area, when you pull up to a drive thru at a fast food restaurant, you’re greeted with “Hi, how are you”. What happened to “welcome to Taco Bell, may I take your order”. Am I supposed to sit there and tell the box how I am, and ask the box how they are. I realize there’s a person behind the box, but I feel silly speaking to a box. Especially when once I didn’t ask the box how he was, and I got a very sarcastic “I’m fine too, thank you very much”. Every fast food restaurant I go to does this, and it drives me crazy. Maybe I need to stay away from fast food all together. Not!
please don’t get me started on this subject. remember the grocery line incident? uh huh, this mama’s a bitch. just try and be rude around me - it doesn’t fly. not even a little bit.
I have noticed that the elderly can be really, really rude. They will cut in front of you in line like it’s their right since they are old. And an old lady hit my car a few months ago. She told me there was no damage done. “Uh. Lady? Your black paint is all over the side of my white car.”
Now don’t get me wrong, I love the old people and respect them too, but you know, sheesh!
All of yours are great but I need to add one. Moms at the park who don’t apologize for their kids or at least make their kids apologize when they push yours out of the way to get to the slide. WTF?!?!?!
Why, thank you. You’re too kind. *blush*
I so agree with all of these, but the one I most rave about is the waving in traffic one. Seriously, it’s not that hard to thank someone, is it???
I had a similar list about people working out at the gym I think rude people often were polite people that gave up on being polite because of other rude people.
I totally second that! My expectations are worse though…I come from this small town in texas where everytime you pass someone on the road you wave at them. EVERYONE does it. When I moved to Houston I felt like everyone I saw on the road was so rude. Where’s my wave people?! I know you saw me!
And if they don’t wave when I let them into traffic I feel like ramming them….because I’m so polite I guess. Hee.
Oh, I hear you. I keep a running mental list of people I want to publicly humiliate via the blog. And then it all promptly escape me when I sit down to write. I would like to add to this list people who try to get on the train before everyone has exited. It just doesn’t make any sense. The train’s not going anywhere until everyone has gotten off, reallly. Knocking that little old lady halfway across the platform and tripping the pregnant woman isn’t going to get you to your destination any faster.
MetroDad, you just reminded me of another pet peeve of mine: when people don’t return items I’ve loaned to them. Such as my copy of “Eats, Shoots and Leaves”. I have just added that one back onto my wishlist, as well as the book you recommended. Thanks!
Ditto HBM on the sidewalk space and Dawn on the men exiting the elevator first. I also cannot stand it when people try to cram INTO the elevator before I’ve managed to squeeze my way OUT.
First time reader, and I’m so with you on all the pet peeves. I have one more to add though:
People who occupy more than one seat (the second is for their precious bags, mind you) on a crowded train and ignore you (while chattering on the cellphone) while you stand and ‘request’ them for space! I wish during such moments that I could transform into a train authority of the highest order and demand that they pay for that second seat or stand while the bags rest in their seat!!
I think these are all symptoms of a bigger problem — people that are absolutely oblivious and self-centered to the point that manners, common courtesy, and common sense do not occur to them. I am tired of people putting themselves first in any transaction or social setting. If we all did that all the time the world would be a miserable place.
I hear ya - I hate the non thankers and the non-acknowledgers, too. Especialy the ones who can’t wave when you let their big ass Hummers pull in front of you - makes me want to ram the back of their car. But that wouldn’t be NICE, now, would it?