We all know the media exaggerates stuff, especially when it comes to celebrities, but there probably IS a kernel of truth to everything that’s been said about Britney Spears and her less-than-stellar parenting skills. Hell….there’s probably an entire cornfield of truth to all of it. I have to admit, however, after the week I’ve had, that I actually feel a little sorry for her.
I know. I know. She’s an idiot. And poor Sean Preston… (why does everyone call him by both names? Am I the only one that thinks that’s weird?) But now that I’m bunking with parenting blunders hall-of-famer Spears, I’ve had to stop and consider whether I’m in any position to to say anything about Britney (slutty videos, orange jumpsuits and numerous other fashion-don’ts notwithstanding)
Now, in my own defense, 2/3 of what I’m about to confess to is really not my fault. I had no control over the circumstances but in typical sacrificial mom fashion, I blame myself anyway. Somewhere
between conception and birth I solemnly swore to protect my children from everything bad, including circumstances beyond my control. So even though they’re not my fault, I’m still guilty.
Painful Blunder Number 1
Earlier this week, after spiking a very high fever and projectile vomiting all over me twice, I decided to take my 11 month old son (Peebs) to the evening pediatrician. I got him dressed and as I was exiting the bedroom with him on my hip, I turned to my left to pull the door closed behind me, not knowing, because I don’t have lizard eyes on the sides of my head, that he was turned to the right, sticking his chubby little hand into the crack of the door jamb. Yes. I crunched his little hand in the door, leaving a crease and a matching purple bruise. We won’t even discuss the crying.
There’s no way I could have known he would do that BUT…I still should have prevented it. For what it’s worth, the pediatrician said it was fine. But did that make me feel better? Hardly.
Painful Blunder Number 2
Once we’re at the pediatrician’s office, in the exam room, Peebs decided to open the cabinet under the sink. I look and there’s nothing in there so I let him open and close the cabinet doors. He loves doing this and has never sustained an injury from doing it at home so what’s the harm? Well…apparently the doctor’s office has those newfangled hinges that are on the inside. They have a little gap in them perfect for crushing small fingers and he managed to find it. Squish goes the finger. More screaming and crying. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I could have prevented that. It was stupid of me to let him play with the cabinet doors. I just didn’t want to hear his inevitable cries of protest when I tried to stop him. I was exhausted and lazy and I took the easy way. Totally. My. Fault. His finger is fine. Me? I’m fine if you don’t count being mired in mommy guilt.
(and the vomiting and fever appears to be viral)
Embarrassing but Painless Blunder Number Three
AKA The piece de resistance…
Yesterday, Peebs got locked in the car with it running.
Here’s how it happened. I stopped at a friend’s house to drop something off. My daughter wanted to go to the door with me so she could say hi to her pal so with the engine still running, I got out, opened the sliding door and let her out. I closed it and when I tried to open the driver’s side door to grab the item I was dropping off, it was locked. I checked every door and the back window and they were ALL LOCKED.
But I didn’t lock the doors. The car is possessed. It has always done weird stuff like lock automatically but it never locks the driver’s door. Never. Until Now.
I called the auto club and for the 20 minutes until they arrived, I paced furiously, talking a mile a minute, repeatedly stating that I have no idea how this happened and checking on the baby every 11 seconds while waving and smiling at him through the glass like some kind of crazy person.
He never stopped grinning and waving back at me. He was perfectly fine. I was a wreck. And even though it wasn’t my fault, I am still guilty. I should never trust any stupid car to act properly and even though I was just going to the front door for 30 seconds, I probably should have unloaded him despite the aggravation of having to put him right back in. I shouldn’t have been lazy.
So now you see why maybe I can’t feel superior to Britney anymore…
Even worse for her, though, is that she’s preggers which is already tough. When I imagine being pregnant with a BABY to care for, well, I can’t imagine it, really. It’s just too icky.
It was really dumb to allow herself to get knocked up again but I can’t help feeling bad for her, despite all her poor choices. I have to believe even though she’s a complete dunce, that she does love her son and that the media frenzy resulting from those poor choices might be adversely affecting her unborn baby with a shitload of undue stress.
Yes, she’s a celeb and she’s supposed to be fair game for the media. I’m just not sure it’s fair for her children. Surely they don’t deserve to have their lives, one before it’s even born, to be such spectacle.
I know I’m in the minority here but I’m a big sap when it comes to babies and pregnant women. You guys KNOW I watch A Baby Story at least three times a week.
So, feel free to disagree with me or flog me for being a blunderously bad mom if you must.
Just don’t be unkind. I’m very sensitive, you know :)