Fred Meyer Can Bite My Ass
Anyone who knows me…or sort of knows me knows that I am not a La Leche League member or much of a breastfeeding activist. I was lucky in that both of my babies latched on perfectly from day one and nursed with no problems. I don’t have anything against LLL. I just didn’t really ever get involved with them because I had no breastfeeding issues to speak of BUT after reading about the thing in the Fred Meyer supermarket in Oregon, I am pissed. Incensed. Infuriated. I suddenly feel a kinship with LLL.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, the brief overview is that a woman was given some major crap about nursing her three month old in a grocery store because people complained. I heard a blurb about it yesterday and then today I saw that CityMama had linked to her article about it here.
I sent an email to Fred Meyer corporate (owned by Kroger) detailing my feelings on the matter. I was not particularly articulate or eloquent or polite. I wanted to convey just how ticked off I am about this (with LOTS of capitalization…lol) more than I wanted to bamboozle them with loquaciousness and words they probably wouldn’t understand anyway.
My vitriol runneth over:
I am totally shocked and offended that your company would in any way impede a mother from nursing her baby in one of your stores. I have a newsflash for you…BREASTS ARE INTENDED TO FEED BABIES. Before they were co-opted by men as playthings, they were actually used to feed infants. Yes, believe it or not, there wasn’t always formula and bottles.
How ignorant and narrow-minded can someone possibly be? Nobody is bothered by women parading around half naked at the beach or on TV but a woman sits down to feed her baby and it’s OFFENSIVE? I suggest you train your employees to deal with this issue properly before you end up filing for bankruptcy. I am OFFENDED by your policy on public breastfeeding and I won’t shop in any store that reduces a woman to a pair of breasts and I am NOT alone. You owe ALL lactating mothers an apology.
Brilliant posts and comments about feminism and motherhood abound recently in blogland and it occurs to me that this incident ties right in with those themes. Sadly, though, it makes me feel like we have a long way to go before there is anything even close to true equality. Women are the bearers and nurturers of children and this is how we are treated? Our breasts are too obscene to fulfill their primary function? There are not words…
And guys? Are your babies breastfed? Then this affects you, too.
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There are few things that make me feel more like protesting then when I hear of a woman who was asked to “cover up” because she was feeding her child. Good for you for sending that letter.. I’ll be sending mine shortly.
Why is it okay to display magazines at the check-out line with women wearing dental floss prominently displayed on the covers but its not “appropriate” for a woman to do what nature intended and nurse her child?
Great post and great email. I am a pretty strong breastfeeding proponent, but I am not militant. These kinds of things bother me a great deal. I breastfed both my boys and though I was never asked to leave an establishment, I did receive a lot of indirect criticism. You know…refusal to look me in the eye, polite coughing, and in the case of my in-laws, the suggestion that I might be more comfortable in the bedroom. With the door closed.
Sadly, until we put an end to the objectification of women, and using sex to sell, these kinds of issues will continue to plague us. Realistically, I don’t think that will ever happen. All we can do is continue to protest and educate ourselves and others.
That is absolutely horrible…and a lawsuit waiting to happen!
I did not breast feed and this still pisses me off!!!!!!!! Are waitresses at Hooters told to cover-up? Fuck no. But that’s because it’s providing viewing enjoyment for men, not feeding babies. This country is so backwards ass it makes me want to scream. I have this vision of a nursing women taking over a Hooters restaurant and showing them what Hooters are really for. I’m off to send my email to Fred Meyer Corporate.
I am about to write my own letter to them. I never breastfed at all, but that is totally uncalled for. I read the article the other day, time for some action now!
Being a Canadian I am so shocked that the US is so backwards thinking for a leading Nation in the world.
It is illegal to ask a woman to stop breastfeeding in public and most malls and a lot of places have family rooms or nursing rooms. I have been in some bathrooms in the US that do not even have change tables!
I totally support all women to stand up for their rights and have the freedom to get out of the kitchen and into the world with their kids!
Good for you for sending that letter! I hadn’t even heard about this incident. How sucky!
I’ll bet this grocery store thinks nothing of selling beer that is advertised and promoted with the use of partially-uncovered breasts.
Seriously, with all the publicity over this topic, you would think that they would actually try to be civil and welcoming - nursing mothers are not going to go away anytime soon. They will be badgered into submission - it’s too bad they don’t know what mothers are capable of - however, I’m pretty sure they will soon learn.
And you’re right - it’s really NOT a breastfeeding issue as it is more of a social norm and women’s rights issue. If women had THE POWER, do you think we would have all these NIP problems. Absolutely not. It’s not sexy and therefore it’s deemed gross.
I’m writing a letter today. Thanks for giving me the extra shot of “pissoffyoufuckers” I needed.
You did too put that eloquently!
Good for you for writing them, and for posting about this. I may have to write them a letter myself. I was involved with LLL after my older son was born - not because I had problems nursing, but because I wanted/needed to meet other nursing moms, and I became very aware then of problems like this. Like others have said, it’s something fairly unique to the U.S. I’ve nursed in a lot of public places (a list of those places might make an interesting post) and I’ve never had anyone say anything negative to me, but I have gotten The Look many times - the “I can’t believe you’re doing THAT HERE” look. Ugh. It’s especially disheartening to get The Look from other women/moms.
I love the image that Marcie provided - how funny.
Good for you for getting on it -I hadn’t heard about it. I’d be happy to write too, though they don’t have outposts up here, so they likely care not a whit for my opinion! And I thought your letter was just fine, love.
Inever had to deal with this stuff and get comfy with the public boob-flash, as pumpkinpie never latched (even with LLL intervention) so I ended up pumping for a year instead.
Hey! My in-laws live in OR. And my MIL nursed when it wasn’t fashionable. I will have to ensure she knows about this. And so does one of PIMs, who is also a major BF advocate. I’ll make sure ALL my PIMs know. Because that is ridiculous.
do you have a petition we can all sign? “uppity women of the world against ignorance” go ahead and forge my name!
Fred Meyer can bite my ass, too. There’s lots to bite.
In Canada, where I live, stopping a mother from breast-feeding is actually illegal. I’m glad Fred Meyer doesn’t exist where I live. I’d boycott them.
hey, why is my name in black and everybody elses in green? what’s that about, huh? lol:)
Good for you! Here’s the thing: this past summer, when I was pregnant, there was all that hoopla about Barbra Walters and the View and them making some disparaging comment about breastfeeding, blah blah blah. BW had actually just admitted it made her feel uncomfortable. Well sure, she’s like 127 years old. Different generation. All these women staged a “nurse-in” outside the View studios and frankly, I thought it was dumb. So many well-intended women chanelling their anger at the wrong people.
What they should have done is exactly what you did - write to stores and tell them the policy is illegal. Write to Macy’s and tell them to stop instructing nursing moms to breastfeed their children in the BATHROOMS as opposed to the dressing rooms (of the maternity section, no less!) and make sure companies provide facilities for working moms to pump.
We may not change Barbara Walters’ mind about sitting next to a breastfeeding mom on an airplane, but we can certainly change laws. Good for you, Izzy! Yeah!
Great post and even better email! Makes my blood boil!!
Good for you for writing that letter to them. That is infuriating and completely annoying. As a breastfeeding mother I say THANK YOU.
I ran into my fair share of loud mouths, gawkers, and pointers whenever i breast fed in public. It throughly disgusted me how people could come up and say “Why not bring a bottle” When nursing my first we had so many issues that I was not strong enough to face these poeple, I generally bottle fed her expressed milk in public. With Kid two I had much more confidence, i was always covered but we did it everywhere. The few people who dared to say anything got a tongue lashing that i’m sur ethey are still smarting from. I am GLAD that there are no Krogers or Fred Meyers around her to speak of or I would be tempted to call up my boobalicious nursing mama aquaintances and go down with picket signs and nursing babies
I wrote my Fred Meyer letter and then had my husband read it. When he agreed with what I wrote, he co-signed the letter. It isn’t enough that we are outraged, our male friends and partners need to let people know that they are angry too.
Not sure how he’ll participate in a nurse-in if it comes to that, however.
I didn’t breast feed because my son was allergic to my milk. I wish i could of, the bonding is important and its the best thing for the baby. one day the boys clubs will relize that womens beast are the reason why they are alive and strong!!
I whip out the girls when needed. I just DARE someone to complain.
Tell it, sistahs!
I’m with ya and like SJ, I will breastfeed WHENEVER. Don’t even THINK about giving me any shit.
Thanks to all who wrote letters. Luvyameanit :)
I breastfed both of my boys. Although I personally didnt feel comfortable breastfeeding in public places, I have no problem with other mommies doing it. It is natural and should be encouraged. I am surprised that Kroger would do something like this. Good for you for sending a letter expressing your concern. Hopefully something can be done about this.
I live in Portland Ore & I breastfed in public all the time. The one problem I had was people wishing I’d use a blanket to cover up. Um, I would but that pissed off the babe. She’d pull the blanket off, pull her head back (leaving me completely exposed) and scream as loud as she could. I found going without cover to be more discreet. And even then, no one commented.
As said by the other Canadian folk, it is illegal to try to stop a Mom from NIP here. I read about this stuff happening and wonder what the frig is the big deal with breasts doing what they are supposed to be doing?! It seems so backwards and such a waste of time for any store manager zoning in on this issue.
Unfortunately, even with the law on our side here, some people still act like assholes in the face of boobs. Once in a restaurant (while nursing #3 I believe?) I got asked to take her to the bathroom by a patron. My husband looked at the guy and said “Oh guy, you don’t know what you’ve started.” and I had at him. I told him I would be happt to nurse her in the bathroom if he would join me in the next stall and eat his steak there. He shut up pretty quickly. That’s pretty much the only opposition I’ve faced, but it was enough to get me riled up for a while.
You would think that the Fred Meyer people could find actual issues to focus on. Like shoplifters, keeping the aisles stocked, etc. What are they going to do next, ban men with sandals because their ugly hairy toes are showing? Outlaw thongs from the store? Turn away people with tank tops? Or if it’s not a body-baring issue, are they going to ban all food and drink from the store? Or maybe they just don’t want any babies or children there. Grrrrrrr…
I am sorry about what happened to that woman in oregon fred meyers I happen to work for fred meyers and have heard about that incident please dont blame the whole corporation for one man very ignorant stupid stupid issues on breast feeding I heard he got into lots of trouble I think he doesnt work for freddies anymore but dont blame us as a whole there are alot of terriffic people that work for this company and I know you have your rite to not shop there anymore and that is your rite but I just wanted to speak out for the other fred meyer employees that fredmeyers did do something and issued a letter to all employees saying that a woman can breastfeeed anywhere and anytime with no trouble at all and are embarrassed they had a dumb store manager like they had at that store but who is no longer there just wanted to tell the other side of story
Thanks Jennifer
actually they cover the front of the bad magazines with black covers please get your story right it was one mans ignorance not the whole company’s fault and he is no longer with freddies
it is not the whole grocery chains fault it is the fault of one man who made the comment who has been reprimanded
I don\’t think the commenter was referring to Fred Meyers in particular but all grocery stores in general and she makes a very valid point.
It IS the responsibilty of the chain to have a policy in place and to train ALL employees in how to deal with this sort of thing. To say that FM is not responsible is just not accurate. They are the company. At the end of the day it’s their name, not the employees, that will be held accountable. Furthermore, that employee deserves more than a reprimand. He should have had to personally apologize to the nursing mother that he humiliated. I am, of course, assuming that didn’t happen. if it did, I stand corrected.
Thanks for the follow-up. It’s good to know that the whole company isn’t like that.
I feel the same as Jennifer about not blaming the whole store for what this one man said.
I nursed both of my children and never exposed everything to view but stayed out in public when I had to. You see more exposed on what most women wear that aren’t nursing a child. But everyone is used to that.
Death to IZZMOM!!!!!!
Ummm…Mr. or Ms. Jackass? Though I deleted the first three, I take great pleasure in informing you that I have forwarded your comments to the superintendent of Clackamas Education Services District, Milt Dennison, as well as NIS Director Larry Carter. I trust you know who they are…