Did I Really Say I was Going to Blog This?

Posted by on March 2, 2006

I’m a fan of consignment stores. I truly think they are great. Without them, what would we do with all the assloads of baby and kid junk that we’ve acquired that they so quickly outgrow or get tired of? Yes, I know I can give it to the Salvation Army and many times I do, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to hand over a $60 Gymboree dress, worn only once, to the Salvation freaking Army. The same goes for all the other overpriced, new-with-tags crap in my daughter’s closet. Even better, however, are the great things you can GET there. There are some serious bargains happening in consignment shops and so I usually check there first for things where it doesn’t really matter if it isn’t brand new.

After Christmas I went to my neighborhood consignment store to try and find a pair of tap shoes in my daughter’s size as hers seemed to be too small after the holiday break from dance. As we sat on the floor trying different pairs, I came across some that looked to be close to her size. They were very similar to the ridiculously expensive Capezio’s that we had consigned a few months prior. As I was untying them, I caught a whiff of something. Ughh. What IS that? Then it hit me.

“Ewwwww!” I squealed as the shoes went flying from my hands. The woman from the store came running. I sat there on the floor with my hands out in front of me as if they were covered in something awful and vile. “These shoes have cat pee on them!” I screeched. I was justifiably horrified, particularly because I could feel the stickiness of old cat urine mixed with ammonia crystals on my hands and now that I recognized the smell, it was about to make me barf.

Before I knew it, the owner had brought me a box of baby wipes and hand sanitizer and was apologizing profusely. She continued to prattle on about how she had no idea how this could have happened etc. I nodded my head politely. Yes, of course, I understand. No problem. But on the inside I’m all “Ewwwww…get me out of here!” I bought a clean, unpeed-upon pair of tap shoes (and I ONLY bought them there because she had class that day and I was in a hurry) and we hauled ass.

A few days later, I came home and there was a message from the consignment store owner. I couldn’t imagine why she would be calling. I was very curious so I called her right back.
Our conversation went something like this:
______________

Me: Hi, this is Mrs. Dean. You left me a message earlier today to call you.

Owner: Uh, yes, hi. I just wanted to tell you that I was checking my records to see who consigned the shoes with the uh, cat pee on them and uh… THEY’RE YOURS!

Me: *GASP*

Me: *Apologizing repeatedly and telling her I have no clue how they could have gotten peed on blah blah*
_______________

At some point I must have told the woman, in attempt to keep it light and not die of total embarrassment right there on the phone, that I was going to blog about this horrid story, as if it were some cute little anecdote. Talk about your humbling experiences…

So yesterday, after avoiding the shop for about a month because I seriously never wanted to see her again, I decided to bite the bullet and go in because I wanted to see if they had a certain item and what’s the first thing she says to me?

“So did you write about the cat pee shoes in your blog?”

“Oh. Haha. Did I say that? Yeah. I mean no. Uh uh. But I will. Mmhmmm” Right after I die of humiliation.

Epilogue
I racked my brains for weeks trying to figure out how this happened because those shoes were only ever in two places: in the car or on my kid’s feet. How the holy hell did they get pissed on? The only theory I have is this one: One night I went outside and I saw two big yellow eyes looking back at me form the dash of the BAM (bad-ass momvan). There was a cat in my car. My neighbor’s cat, actually. WTF? How’d he get in there? Then I remembered that earlier that day my friend had gotten her daughter’s booster out of my car. He must have jumped in without her seeing him and then gotten locked in there for like 8 hours. I guess can see how a pair of tiny patent leather tap shoes might be a viable substitute for a litterbox…you know, in a pinch, or if someone locks you in a car all day.


18 Comments

  • rhonda says:

    OH MAN! I would have just died. That is a great story. LOL.

    Oh, and I just love consignment stores too (I call them Lord and Taylor) HA

  • Kristen says:

    AHAHAHAAH That’s so awesome, Iz! I love them too – we’re headed to one today that is just all weekend – I especially like to get the bigger toys and stuff… sometimes they ask way too much for shitty clothes and it pisses me off.

  • MrsFortune says:

    Oh man, how funny! Cats love to pee in shoes. They also love to shit and puke in shoes! Which is one of the reasons I think they’re so f’ing evil. :) Just IMO.

  • Izzy says:

    Rhonda: Lord & Taylor…lol. I like that. We have another really snooty consignment shop that I don’t go to much that should be called that.

    Kristen: Is it one of those giant 3 day consignment sales? I love those things. Ahahaha…I do the same thing. they ask a lot for some stained thing and I get so annoyed.

  • Izzy says:

    Mrs. Fortune: Yes, cats can be weird about that stuff. Fortunately, mine have always been pretty good. We had this poodle, though. OMG. You could walk it for an hour and you’d come in the house and it would pee on the floor right in front of you. Grrrrr…

  • Nixie Knox says:

    I love consignment stores too. They have this mommy exchange in a town near where we live and it is all weekend long. You can get amazing deals, like a whole outdoor playhouse for $50.

  • Mom101 says:

    Hilarious! My cat may be the devil incarnate. But she keeps her pee to the litterbox. And our bed when we leave her overnight. Fun!

  • Chag says:

    I’m amazed you went back to the place.

    We use consignment shops, consignment sales, and yard sales to buy most of our children’s clothes.

  • chelle says:

    Oh My!!! What a great story!!!! Love those moments “you have to blog about”
    hehehe
    chelle

  • My store is partly consignment. So you are one of those people, huh? The people who attempt to bring me the most foul and disgusting vile items from 1982 and get all pissy when I refuse. :)
    Every so often we miss a small stain on something, but shoes that have been peed on? Ewww. I don’t get how that could be missed.
    How embarassing…and yet so bloggable.

  • Izzy says:

    Nixie: I know…I love when they have all those Little Tikes things. Those sales are great.

    Mom101: Mine are like that, too. Although, one does throw up now and then.

    Chag: I can’t believe I went back either but the lady is really nice. (and she owed me money for some non-peed upon items that sold…lol)

  • Izzy says:

    Mel: I am so NOT one of those nasty ass people! I bring the best stuff and they always take it. Honestly, I still don’t understand how nobody caught the pee on the shoes, either. And yes, extremely embarrassing…

    PS: When I said they try to sell stained stuff for a lot of money, I was talking about those consignment sales where sellers price their own stuff. I wasn’t talking about QUALITY shopowners such as yourself :-)

  • Kristen says:

    hahahaah. Yeah. It was craziness. I got there right when it opened and ran to the toy part – I’m trying to get her some “girlie” toys – like a stove and fridge to train her right LOL just kidding – she likes that stuff though.

    We have a few consignment shops in town (okay ONE) and really, it sucks ass. Our town is too poor to have anything of worth at the consignment shops – like I’m not going to pay $4 for an old navy t-shirt… OR all they have are those crazy fancy southern pinafore things that are really not our deal…

    Chag — I think that’s great. I really would love to do that as well. They grow out of them so fast – and they get trashed…

    BUT I got her a few dresses – $3/each – and I found her some cool toys too.

  • Jess Riley says:

    That is hilarious! Ah those cats, they love to pee everywhere. Our dog has moods like this…last summer at the beach she decided to pee on my bare feet, which was very weird.

    This post reminded me that I need to haul about 3 tons of old clothes to our local Goodwill store.

  • Nancy says:

    Wow — that’s hysterical! (and embarrassing!) Cats have an evil way of seeking revenge when they are wronged, don’t they? (mine do, anyway… although luckily not with respect to pee!)

  • Sue says:

    Looking on the bright side of life…it could be worse. The cat could have peed on your car seats or something…urgggg.

  • Izzy says:

    Nancy: They do have their ways of letting you know exactly how they feel. But yeah, I’ve been lucky to not have mad-pissers..lol

    Sue: I thought the same thing. The funny part is that I never, not once smelled pee in my car or on the shoes. And I have a cursedly (Did I just make that word up?) good nose.

  • Radomir says:

    I just wanted to say that I love this site

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