The Return of Aunt Flo

Posted by on January 17, 2006

“Aunt Flo” Ugh…I’ve always hated that expression that signified the arrival of of one’s period. Why can’t women just say “I got my PERIOD”?

Today I got mine for the first time in 16 months. I knew it would return eventually but I was rather enjoying NOT having the bloating and the zits and the moodiness and everything else that comes with the arrival of my PERIOD. I was blaming a lot of my irritability on being tired and dealing with P’s crabbiness due to the thing that I don’t want to talk about anymore because I know it’s tiresome. You know…the “T” word (*whispers “teething”*). In a way this is good. The arrival of my PERIOD explains a lot.

For example…early the other morning, after being up and down all night with P and dealing with his absolute inability to be content, I was just exhausted and I started sobbing to my husband and insisting that he clearly does not care at all about my mental health and emotional well-being, because if he did he would have somehow found a way for me to, just once, get eight uninterrupted hours of sleep. I swore that I was going to check into a hotel later that day and not come home until I’d captured the sleep that I’ve been chasing for 16 months.

Later, after I’d gotten a grip and calmed down, I realized I must have appeared really unhinged but alas…it was just my PERIOD talking. What a relief to know that I will not have to jump through the clusterf*ck of hoops known as “managed care” to secure mental health benefits. That might unhinge me for real.

More happy news… According to my toilet-time floor inspection, the bathroom tile seems to finally be losing it’s post-pregnancy haircarpet. Soon I expect to be finding nothing but regular old pubic hair on the bathroom floor.


13 Comments

  • dazed says:

    you must not have dogs. Our bathroom has more dog hair than people hair, I swear they have meetings in there. I am constantly vacuuming it seems.

  • Anonymous says:

    I’m a little late but consider this my de-lurking. I live in NYC, so I was psyched to read that you like it. I just found your blog today and was immediately impressed by your writing and candor. I look forward to reading more.
    Thanks! Poetnyc

  • mrsmogul says:

    I once wrote a post called When Aunt Flo Met Don Ho, it was when I first got my period in Hawaii when my parents were out on a don ho concert. I think it’s also funny when tney say..”your friend”

  • DeAnn says:

    My boyfriend thinks blaming anything on my period is B.S., but I do think it definitely makes women different!

    Or at least me.

  • (w)izzy says:

    Dazed: You really need to address the dog meeting thing. Next thing you know they’ll be smoking cigars and playing poker.

    Poetnyc: Wow…thanks so much. You made my day. I’m a total compliment whore!

    Ms. Mogul: Any post that inlcudes Aunt Flo and Don Ho has got to be good! And yes, calling your period “My friend” is horrible!

    DeAnn: Any man who doesn’t believe a woman’s period can make her nuts needs to start watching his calendar. ’nuff said!

  • Kristen says:

    Mine came back ON my daughter’s first birthday. Middle o’ the night – no warning – oh, and we were on vacation having a beach party ICK. Thanks for visiting and commenting too.

  • Mama! Mama! says:

    I got mine back at exactly 6 weeks postpartum…even with my furious pumping schedule. Blah. It is not my friend…or my aunt…it is my period. My sucky period. Love your blog. I will be back. Thanks for stopping by mine.
    (and even though it’s late…congrats on the job. :) )

  • (w)izzy says:

    Kirsten: Ugh…on vacation at the beach and you get YOUR FRIEND! Sorry…it’s such a horrible expression and yet I feel compelled to use it.

    mama!: SIX weeks? That’s SO unfair. I agree; my period is not my friend either because a friend would not make me get zits, crave a bunch of gross food and be mean to my husband.

    Thanks for stopping by! I love your blogs :-)

  • Kristen says:

    God she is such a bitch. Aunt Flo that is :)

  • Y says:

    HA! I couldn’t agree with you more about The Aunt Flo thing.

  • (w)Izzy says:

    Aunt Flo sucks. She always gives me socks for Christmas. And tampons. Grrr….

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